From The Eyes Of A Spinster - Episode 14

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Time was a swiftly flowing river that had no shores, no boundaries. Its seasons were not winter, spring, fall or summer, but birthdays and joys and troubles and pains. But that never changed the way Sakinah felt. That never changed the fears, shocks and cries at night. The fear of being alone, fear of being with a guy... It never changed, to some extent it increased due to the therapy. The only change visible in Sakinah's behavior was her ability to talk to her therapist without fear, even thou sometimes the fear squeezed in her; fear of him taking advantage of her when they are alone.

The fears, the worries, the agonies and pains left her. With no one to talk to and share her pains, except her therapist, which she sometimes feel insecure being with him... Six weeks after they left bichi, Sakinah only focused on her studies and therapy, deep inside, she has a surging urge to run and go to a place where nobody knows everything about her. But how will she do something like that? By doing it, is she grateful to her Lord? What will Mama Rabi say if she's alive? Will she give her consent? or reprimand her for thinking that way? Lately, she has been confused at the rate which guys approaches her. Even thou she never smile nor give out any friendly impression to any guy, she still finds it confusing how they approach her without her showing any interest.

For now, she has few months to complete her studies and then go to law school. But then, what will happen after that? Will her dad force her to get married? Or will he let her stick to her opinion of never getting married?

"Sakinah!" Nafisah shouted in her ears. "My God, what were you thinking about this way? I've been standing here for almost ten minutes talking without you responding. Are you okay? Do you wish to share your thoughts?" Nafisah asked in a concerned manner.

Sakinah shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. Turning swiftly and hugging her sister so tight. Sakinah let the pump loose as she cried so hard, feeling the pain afresh... so fresh that she felt like she's going to chock up.

"I miss her. I miss her so very much sis. Why did she have to leave? Why did she leave me all alone in this cruel world. Why Nafisah? why? Why? Why!" She sobbed so hard, inhaling deep breath, "I missed her so much. I have lots of things I want to tell her, I have lots of things I need her to approve to. I have lots of fears sis, I need her, I need to talk to her"

Nafisah hugged her back. She knows how lonely they all were. How they all yearn for their mother's love. She knows that something is wrong with her sister, but she can't really point it out, and she knows Sakinah won't voice it out. If only... their mom will spare some of her time with them, then maybe, just maybe Sakinah might open up her fears.

"I know how you feel sis, I know how lonely you are, I know how hard it is to bolt something up in one's heart, it's not easy. It has never been easy, and I know it'll never be... But you have to be patient, Pray dear sister and don't hesitate to open up to me whenever the needs arises. I promise you I'll listen... In Shaa Allah" Nafisah tried calming her down.

Sakinah inhaled a deep breathe before untangling herself from the hug, holding Nafisah's hands in hers, she smiled through the tears and squeezed her sister's hands.

"And I'm also here if you need someone to talk to sis. Anytime"

"I sure do need someone to talk to right now sis, I really do"  Nafisah spoke, walking towards the big window by the balcony where Sakinah has been standing moments ago.

"I'm entangled in a shell I can't break Sakinah, I feel scared sometimes but still couldn't control the urge to do it whenever the needs arises. I know it's wrong, but I can't help the situation, I can't help the urge to always do it. I really want to get married Sakinah, I really do" Nafisah said in a cracky voice.

Sakinah was silent for a while, imagining her sister getting married to one of those dogs who call themselves MEN. Will she be able to cope with their wickedness?

"You want to get married?" Sakinah asked not wanting to believe what her sister just said.

"Yes, I want to get married Sakinah. I don't know why dad won't just let me get married, I don't know why. I have few minutes to my POP and I'll be free from everything, but he still doesn't want me to get married. Will he be the one to satisfy my desires?" Nafisah asked angrily.

"What? What do you mean Nafisah?" Sakinah asked shocked.

"You heard me right Sakinah. I have strong desire for intimacy and I'm in the verge of loosing my patience. I can't hold it anymore sis, I've been trying but it's not easy. I can't do it anymore sis, I just can't!" She said, breaking down completely into tears "I can't do it anymore, I just can't!"

Sakinah hugged her from behind, "It's okay sis. I want you to give me time, just two days in shaa Allah.... and we'll think of what to do about it, In shaa Allah"

"Thank you sis. I just hope we can make it".

              ***   ***   ***

"Zunnurayn, I doubt if you've ever understood the term that I don't love you and will never love you. Why can't you just understand the simple term?" Safinah said angrily, glaring at Zunnurayn who was just standing with both hands in his pockets.

"I doubt if he understands the words, girly. He's not your type goddammit!" Maymuna bellowed angrily.

The ladies were just coming out of the big company called TCZ owned by the well known heartbreaker in the city, Aqeel Munkaila. For Safinah, he's the type of guy she needs; so rich and handsome. But to her utmost dismay, Mr. Munkaila has never cared to spare her a glance. Mr. Munkaila already has a lady in his heart; Nasreen Izziddeen.

"Is loving you a crime Safinah?" He asked slowly, afraid he's going to piss her off and make her slap him.

"Yes, it is a crime Zunnurayn. You are not as rich as I want my future husband to be! You're not even up to my standards. Please, just let me be, okey?" She snapped angrily.

He swallowed so hard, fighting the urge not to snap at her.

"I'm sorry, I'll come back whenever you feel like talking to me. Just know that I love you Safinah, I do love you beyond words" And with that, he left.

Maymunah rolled her eyes. Why can't he notice her? Notice how much she loves him instead of wasting his time with Safinah who doesn't know his worth. But it's a promise she made to herself; She's definitely going to get Zunnurayn for herself... All alone!

              ***   ***   ***

"Baby, I'm desperate. I want us to get married soon. I love you and I'm afraid of loosing you to anyone. Please talk to Dad again" Hamza said, drawing small circles at the back of Nafisah's hand which he was holding in his.

The two matured people were seated in his car outside their big mansion. Nafisah love the way he always touch and hug her, which send shivers down her spine and made her heart lurch with love and passion. How she loves his hands on her.

"I'm trying baby, I'm trying... But dad is proving to be stubborn. I think I'll take Sakinah's advice and go to kano to see Baba Sa'eed" She replied, resting her head on his chest.

"Do just that. But let's give dad just a month and see. If he doesn't yield, then we approach Baba Sa'eed okay?" Hamza said smoothing Nafisah's hair after removing the veil she put on.

He knows quite well her dad is not ready to marry her off. And he himself is not in love with her, he just wants her body, and he's gradually getting it...

"Baby I can't sleep without kissing you today. I'll go insane baby, maybe I'll even die. Here, feel my heartbeat..... It beats only for you baby.... For you. But it seems you never seem to appreciate just how much I love you. I've been begging for just a kiss for over a week kin hana. It's okay... lemme get going" Hamza said, feigning hurt.

And with that little display, he got Nafisah's emotions. She leaned forward and kissed him. Kissed him so hard!

 

Am so sorry for the long wait, got busy with it's publication that's why.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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  • Cynthia Obi picture
  • EnkayDee picture
    EnkayDee
    Kai MJ upload more episodes, I do hope there is someone to help sakinah and nafisat. So many pains in their hearts
  • Oyebode Florence picture
  • Ucheoma Rufus picture
    Ucheoma Rufus
    I just wish that pray that Salinas got healed soon.
  • Oyebode Florence picture
    Oyebode Florence
    Please Next chapter ??????
  • Binta Zakari picture
    Binta Zakari
    I am so emotional, I find it very difficult to finished reading the chapters due to pity onbSakina. I felt bad on why their mother's are not paying more attention to them as Mama Rabi even though she is aware of the distance between them.God saves us and our children from the hands of rapist within. Thank you , mjy ,please keep uploading.
  • Binta Zakari picture
    Binta Zakari
    I am so emotional, I find it very difficult to finished reading the chapters due to pity onbSakina. I felt bad on why their mother's are not paying more attention to them as Mama Rabi even though she is aware of the distance between them.God saves us and our children from the hands of rapist within. Thank you , mjy ,please keep uploading.
  • Murjanatu Alkali picture
    Murjanatu Alkali
    I'm so sorry. The book has been published and I really can't keep uploading the story here anymore. You can get a copy if you're intrested. Do send me an email on how to get a copy. [email protected]
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