From The Eyes Of A Spinster - Episode 5

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She tried opening her eyes for the first and second time but they were very heavy, and she couldn't open them. She tried again, for the third time, and luckily for her, she opened them only to quickly shut them back because of the light. She saw blurry images of people standing and sitting beside her, but she couldn't point just who and who were around her.

"She's awake" she heard a deep masculine voice saying.

"Yaa Rabb (Oh Lord)! Ma Shaa Allah. Are you okay dear?" Mama rabi asked, sitting beside her and taking hold of her right hand.

This time around, she opened her eyes slowly and scanned around the room. She saw her dad, her mom sitting beside him. Nafisa and Safinah all standing beside the bed. But her eyes suddenly landed on two beings who made her want to stand up and run right that instant.

"Are you okay?" Mama rabi asked again squeezing her hand.

She shifted her gaze to mama rabi and gave out a weak smile before nodding her head.

"Are you okay Sakinah?" Her dad asked slowly. 

"yes" came her weak reply.

"I'll go get the doctor" The masculine voice said again. She looked at the guy trying so hard to remember where she saw him but couldn't. Habeeb who has been standing with the guy walked up towards her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. And she felt like grabbing his neck and punching his ugly and annoying face.

She turned her gaze towards the window and didn't even bother replying him. Mama rabi looked at them before squeezing Sakinah's hand the more in hers. If her hunch happens to be right, then Rest In Peace to Habeeb in advance. She's going to make sure he thole and pay for what he did. An eye for an eye... a tooth for a tooth. If he took her virginity, then she's going to castrate him.

Few minutes later, the guy came back with the doctor and behind him came another guy whom Sakinah could swear she knew. Dawoud!

"How's she feeling?" He asked the doctor looking worried.

"She's fine. It wasn't something serious in the first place. She was only shocked, and I advice you as her parents to find out what is really troubling her. Least I forget, are you aware she has Insomnia?" The doctor asked, directing his question to Alhaji bello.

They were all shocked and couldn't utter a word. 

"What do you mean doctor?" Mama rabi managed to ask slowly, not wanting to believe what the doctor was saying.

"Yes, she has Insomnia and I'm sorry to say, but it's getting critical" The doctor explained.

Mama rabi looked at Sakinah, and her heart squeezed in pain. What is it that changed this sweet little girl over the night? What happened to her? What?

Hajiya Siyyamah was too shocked to even utter a word. What could be wrong with her daughter?

"Is there anything you can do about this?" Alhaji bello asked.

"Before I handle the Insomnia case, I want you all to ask her what is disturbing her. Believe me when I say she's suffering from a trauma, and I bet you living with her can point them out". 

Of course she can point them out. Why won't she have sleepless and restless nights when she sleeps everyday with the fear that Habeeb or any other guy out there will come for her. She hates the dark, she hates it when it's dark because that's when all her fears erupts, and she couldn't help but shake with fear. Will she ever forgive Habeeb for what he did to her? Hell No! Why will she even forgive a ruthless human being like him? She'll watch him rot in hell, screaming and begging for her forgiveness. And She'd look at him, and then walk off with a satisfied smile on her face just like he did years back. 

"I'll do that doctor In Shaa Allah (If God Will). And I'll bring her back here when I find out" Mama rabi managed to say. Nafisah and Safinah could only stare at their sister blankly, with there hearts heavy with lots of thoughts.

"I think I'll take my leave since she's okay" said the guy whom Sakinah has been trying so hard to recall who he was.

"Sure. thank you so much for everything son. May Allah reward you abundantly" Alhaji bello replied shaking hands with the man.

"Ameen, Ameen Sir" he beamed, "Thank you, Yanmata (young girl)" he uttered, directing his gaze to Sakinah "Get well soon. May Allah make it easy for you"

Sakinah rolled her eyes at him before hissing. They are all the same. Wasn't he the same guy who tried to use her? Huh? Wasn't he? Now he's acting like a saint.... Idiot!.

"Its okay, Thank you son" Hajiya siyamah replied.

             ***   ***   ***

For the past few days, mama rabi has been bent on research. From what she found out about victims of rape, most of the symptoms happens to show easily on Sakinah. Like how she usually cry on simple and silly issues. How she always complain of headaches and pain in her lower back and abdomen. Stuttering or stammering while speaking, Avoiding anything that has to do with a guy. She also gets easily frightened or startled than usual, and also very alert and watchful. She also become easily upset by small things, and anytime something related to relationships or s-x is brought up, she'd shake with fear.

She approached Sakinah who was sitting alone by the study table, reading. She sat down close to her, took hold of her hand and called her name, "Sakinah, I want to ask you something. Dan Allah (please) don't hide anything from me. I promise, the question won't hurt you, okay? I just want to know something, as a mother, that's all. You hear?"

Sakinah nodded her head slowly, focusing her attention on mama rabi.

"Ehmm... Do you have any virginal discharges?" she asked.

Sakinah quickly looked up at mama rabi. Why is she asking her such question? Why? Did she care that much? Why can't her mom just be as caring as mama rabi? She can recall vividly the day she told her mom about the discharge and the answer she gave her...

***

Her heart was beating so fast. What is this? What is she discharging? is she going to die early? Maybe that's why she's discharging this watery whitish substance. She rushed out of the bathroom and ran to her mom, who was busy chatting on facebook with one of her friends living in Accra.

"Mom, come and take a look at this" Sakinah said, pulling her mom's hand.

"Can't you see am busy? What is it?" Hajiya Siyyamah snapped at her daughter.

Sakinah had second thoughts on telling her mom or just to ignore her. But what if she's dying?

"Something is running down from my front" She said, crying. She has already given up that she's dying, so she has all the rights in the world to cry.

"What type of thing? Is it red in colour?" Hajiya Siyyamah asked not bothering to look up from her phone.

"No, mom" Sakinah replied.

"Then go and stop disturbing me. You're okay!".

***

Why then is mama rabi asking her about this right now? Why? Could it be that all this while she's really leaking? No please! She needs to take revenge on Habeeb before dying. She gulped down a little before looking straight into mama rabi's eyes.

"Yes mama. Its been years now. And when I told mom about it, she said I should not worry, that I am okay" Sakinah replied in what seemed like a whisper.

Mama rabi was beyond shocked, "You told aunty about it? And she said you're okay?" She asked her, so terrified.

"Yes... is everything alright? You are scaring me Mama" Sakinah said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Sakinah, dan Allah... dan Girman Allah (for Allah's sake), I'm going to ask you this question again, I've asked you once and you denied it, but please pity your poor mom and tell her the truth. Habeeb ya miki wani abu da kina yarinya? (Did Habeeb did something to you when you were a kid?)"

Sakinah swallowed so hard. Should she tell mama rabi? What if he kills her before she gets her revenge? What if those threats were real and she'd just wake up in her grave without fulfilling her wish? No! There's no way she's telling mama rabi.

Mama rabi was already in tears, deep inside she's dreading to hear Sakinah's response.

"No" came Sakinah's firm reply, "Habeeb has never touched me mama. I told you that already. Please drop this issue, and don't ask me that question again, please" Sakinah pleaded, not wanting to meet mama rabi's gaze.

Now, mama rabi was damn sure and was convinced that something really terrible happened to Sakinah, and she's going to find the imbecile behind it - That was her promise; a promise she made.

"Okay. I won't In Shaa Allah. I'm sorry for disturbing you, go ahead, keep reading" She said, smiling weakly at Sakinah before going back to her room. Now is the time to meet Doctor Zainab!

              ***   ***   ***

"Good morning doctor" mama rabi greeted the doctor as she sat down on the chair opposite the doctor.

"Morning Mrs Bello. It's a pleasure to meet you. How may I help you?" The doctor asked.

"Actually, I want to find out how rape victims act. I mean, even if they weren't raped with much force, but implicating fear in them and making them shush from telling anyone".

The doctor heaved a sigh before she began, "We refer to an issue like that as Rape Trauma Syndrome. The victims of rape tends to go through a lot. It is very important to note that Rape Trauma Syndrome is the natural response of a psychologically healthy person to the trauma of rape, so these symptoms do not constitute a mental disorder or illness. The most powerful factor in determining how people respond to rape is the nature of the traumatic event itself. Not only is there the element of surprise, the threat of death and the threat of injury, there is also the violation of the person. This violation is physical, emotional and moral, and associated with the closest human intimacy of sexual contact" explained the doctor.

"Well, what are some of the symptoms?" Mama rabi asked.

"Severe headache, Gynaecological problems, Irregular, heavier and/or painful periods, V-ginal discharges,  bladder infections, S-xually transmitted diseases, Bleeding and/or infections from tears or cuts in the v-gina or rectum, Soreness of the body. There may also be bruising, grazes, cuts or other injuries. Sleep disturbance, this may be difficulty in sleeping or feeling exhausted and needing to sleep more than usual. Eating disturbance, This may be not eating or eating less or needing to eat more than usual. Those are the physical symptoms".

"Any form of behavioral symptoms?" Mama rabi further enquired, by now, her eyes were all puffy and red. She noticed most of the symptoms mentioned by the doctor in Sakinah. 

"Yes ma'am. Victims usually cry unnecessarily. They get restless easily and also agitated. They don't want to be reminded of anything related to their trauma, they do not socialize, they do not want to be left alone. They are always scared and alert all the time".

"Subhannallah!" Mama rabi lamented and broke down in the doctor's office. "What have we done? What kind of parents are we? What can we do now that it's already too late? Ya Rabb (Oh Lord)! Please forgive us for not looking after the amanah (pledge; responsibility) given to us by You" She wiped, her heart so heavy.

Doctor Zainab was moved to tears by how mama rabi was acting. "Ma'am, she needs therapy, she needs to talk about it even if she doesn't want to, no matter how afraid she is. That's the first step to execute in order to make things right" Doctor zainab advised.

And, I'll surely make you talk Sakinah! - Mama rabi vowed to herself.

               ***   ***   ***

"Kis kis, are you ready?" Nafisa asked from the closet. The triplet were all getting ready to attend a friend's dinner party. Even thou Sakinah didn't want to go, but mama rabi forced her to, Ignoring all the silly excuses she gave.

"In mutym ya takura mun sai in fasa fa (I will change my mind if anyone mount pressure on me) Sakinah replied.

"We are almost late. You girls should hurry up please" Safinah said, coming out from the closet, dressed in an orange gown with black head gear. She looked stunning and so were her sisters.

"Am ready" Nafisah said, coming out of the closet too.

"Same here" Sakinah replied.

"What? No way! You're not going out without any make up Miss" Safinah said angrily, referring to Sakinah.

"Then you girls can just go and let me be!" Sakinah snapped.

"Its okay, let her be please. If she wants to go that way then let her be. Allah ya kaiku lafiya (Safe Journey)" Mama rabi prayed for them.

"Ameen, mama" they simultaneously replied before leaving.

"Do I really have to go?" Sakinah asked again, making a sad face.

"Yes you do. Take care, okay?"

"Okay. Bye!"

               ***   ***   ***

The ride to Hilton hotel was fun, as the girls kept teasing each other and laughing at their crazy jokes. And as soon as the car was parked, Sakinah's eyes looked around the surrounding and couldn't help but feel scared, seeing guys everywhere. What if any of them tries to attack her?

"Maybe I should just go back girls" she told her sisters "I can't go in there, am afraid. Please!" she pleaded, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

The two sisters were moved by her tears and promised not to tell mama rabi she didn't attend the dinner. The plan was for her to drive around till they are done, so they could go home together, without mama rabi getting to know that Sakinah didn't attend the dinner.

She drove around and stopped once she reached a quiet area. She stepped out of the car and inhaled the fresh air, looking above the sky and wondering how He (Allah) created something as beautiful as the sky.

"Whoaa... so we meet again!" A voice said beside her and she almost had a heart attack.

She turned to see who it was only for her eyes to luck up with the carpenter she meet two weeks back. She hissed and turned her head to the other direction, trying so hard to look strong, but deep inside, she was shivering.

"Why ain't you saying anything?" He asked again. 

Sakinah still didn't reply.

"Okay, I got it. Maybe because am not cute and rich and I also don't have side burns nor beards like those rich guys out there. But hello miss, I once saved your life, which I'm sure none of them did" He said. From all indication, he's annoyed at her behavior.

"Uugghh! Whatever. I just want to ask how you're feeling. I think I should start growing beards and sideburns, and maybe get rich then approach you. But mind you miss, I'm not interested in fat and chubby ladies like you, so... no! I won't do any of that. Have a nice day!" He snapped before walking off.

Wait! Why the hell did he said all that to her? Did she ask him? She didn't even spare him a glance but he was blabbering all alone. Damn him!.

"You are so stupid Mansur!" He mused to himself as he walked off.