My only addiction - Episode 39
I took a huge gulp of whisky and closed my eyes enjoying the burning sensation down my throat..
I curled my hands into fists and took a deep breath.
Ethan broke up with her..I tried to say to myself but the heaviness in my chest wouldn't go away.
Ethan wouldn't lie to me. I yelled at my subconscious mind that she hid behind her favourite black leather sofa.
He loves me...I whispered to my inner goddess who nodded in agreement.
He would never hurt me. He chose me...I continued.
Then what's wrong???...My inner goddess asked..
I am scared he would go back to her. I am scared after seeing how beautiful she looks, he would have second thoughts...
I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realised I was sending tears down my face.
"Arya????" Troy dragged me from my disturbing thoughts.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked at his sympathetic eyes...
"Come here," He pulled me into his embrace and wrapped his arms around me.
"It hurts so bad. Seeing her makes me scared. What if they get back together???What if he regrets choosing me???" I sobbed.
"Arya, you have to trust Ethan. It was not easy for him to leave her.."
"Then why did she come???" There was a ton of jealousy in my tone.
"Because she is a family friend..."
"I don't think I have the strength in me to act cool through the night..." I confessed.
"I am here for you the whole night, all you have to do is say my name and I will come running..." At least I managed to laugh between my sobs.
"But I think I should leave. I don't feel like I belong here..."
Troy pulled back and held me at shoulders' length,"You belong here. Uncle Jordan said you look like a Marcias type and trust me he is not the type to go giving out compliments unless it's Aunt Ciara.. Have fun, for once think about yourself..."
"Please don't leave my side???" I pleaded and he nodded wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
"What's wrong s*xy body??? Why do you look like a mess???" Hope asked, walking hurriedly to where I was.
"Who is the guy??? Tell me and I will drown him..." Hope cussed out making me chuckle.
"Are you sure you want to know???" Troy arched her a perfect eyebrow.
"Yes then I will break his legs..."
"Trust me sissy, you would die of shock even before you throw a punch..." Troy stated...
"Arya, let's go to my room. I will retouch your makeup. You look creepy with mascara all over your cheeks.." Hope requested and I nodded wordlessly following her.
When she opened the door to her room everything shouted pink. The carriage bed, rose lamps, crystal chandeliers, dancing ballerina canvas hanged on the wall, Shag rag rug and many more...
She is obsessed with Pink whereas her brother is obsessed with football. Family full of obsesees if that is even a name.
"What princess are you??" I asked as I continued to look around.
"I was obsessed with the Disney princesses when I was young and silly so my mom and I decorated like this three days to my tenth birthday."
"But you are an ass grown woman right now..."
"It kinda reminds me of how my mom took three days off just to put this up. I always thought she loved Ethan more than me but I was wrong. She just loves us differently..."
"Come, let me take you into my vanity case..." She beamed and dragged me into this gold and pink carriage which had two stools, a dressing table, framed mirror and lights...
"Girl you took the princess thingy out of proportion. Even fairy dust in a jar????" I asked, shaking the jar.
"Yeah s*xy...This is where magic happens..." She began to retouch my makeup, a comfortable silence between us.
"Arya, never let a man break you. Never let him strip you off your confidence. I fell in love once with a jerk called Harry only to find out he was with me only because I am a Marcias and he thought it was a ticket to wealth...Men are trash I swear..."
"Tell me about it sister..."
"It's all done....Ps, don't cry again...."
"I promise I won't..So the Harry guy what happened with him???"
"I dumped his sorry ass. My mom taught me never to let a man step on my self confidence.. She is sort of my role model. Did you know my dad forced her to marry him???"
"You are joking...." My jaw fell on the floor.
"Yeah, Ethan doesn't know thou. At first they weren't in love it was all about business...I just adore that woman. I don't want nothing less than my dad, he just treats her right..."
"And Ethan???Do you think Ivy is the ideal girlfriend???" I asked out of curiosity and realised she was wearing a bored look.
"Those two are complicated. Ethan loves fame and football more than himself. Anything hindering that, he pushes it away. That's why him and dad don't get along..."
"That must be hurtful for both you and ma'am Ciara..."
"That's their business as long as we act perfect Infront of the world we are good. One day, they will patch things up..."
"Let's hope so Hope..." I laughed realising how those words had rhymed,"Did you see what I did there???"
"No sissy...For the record I prefer been called Ruby. It's more sexy, Hope seems like a nun's name..."
"Nun's what???" I couldn't hold my laughter...
"Let's get back to the party...I bet it's almost dancing time and I want to shake it off..."
" Okay Ruby..."
We walked back downstairs right in the moment when Ethan was escorting Ivy in the middle of the dancefloor. They look so perfect like their match had been made on Heaven.
He wrapped one of his arm around her waist and began leading her all around the floor as I stood on the sideline watching. He looked so happy and comfortable.
With her, he didn't have to wear a cap or glasses..A tear dripped from my eye and I quickly wipe it away. My legs felt weak, my heart so heavy and I just wanted to fall on my knees and scream.
I am the one who is supposed to be dancing with him like that, all happy and giddy not that model.
"Hey,"Troy snapped his finger on my face,"What are you thinking about??? Come, let's dance..." He drags me into the dancefloor.
I looked over Troy's shoulder as we danced with a slight hope that even for a nanosecond Ethan would look my way but he was so lost onto her eyes as they laughed.
God knows how much I wanted to know about what they were talking about...I am so sick of this shit, I feel like a fucking third wheel...
"Ouch Arya!!!" This was the a millionth time I was stepping on Troy. I wasn't thinking straight...
After the song that was playing ended, we were requested to take our seats. I thought Ethan would sit beside me but how would he when he has her...
"Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention???" Ciara requested, Jordan beside her with his arm wrapped around her waist. They seemed so in love thou their love story had a rough start too, maybe I shouldn't lose hope yet.
"Thank you all for coming to my daughters'
Ivy's and Hope's graduation after-party. They really made us proud and it was a responsibility on our part to celebrate their achievement. From the Marcias family we are grateful. Let the party begin." She added.
I couldn't get my eyes off Ethan and Ivy. I would do anything even sell my soul to the devil to be in her position right now.
Ethan whispered something into her ear and she covered her mouth shyly before placing a kiss on his cheek.
I can't take this anymore. It's is sickening to see how happy she makes him... He is burdening me with the guilt of ruining such a perfect relationship.
How could I think I would make him happy??? I am just a simple girl from the ghetto trying to make it.
I grabbed my purse and walked out of there...I headed upstairs into Hope's room. Maybe been in a princess like room would make me feel slightly better.
I took off my heels and lied on her bed. Tears began streaming down my cheeks and I didn't mind wiping them off.. sometimes it's good to cry the pain out.
Why does my crazy heart have stupid taste in men??? I don't know for how long I lied there thinking of Ethan and Ivy that my head began to hurt...
I stood from the bed and noticed a pair of doors. Maybe it was the passage to mars or Heaven. I was done with this place called Earth. All it gives me it's pain and misery.
I opened the doors and it led me into a balcony. From there I could see a flower garden with a bench at the center. Damn it looked beautiful under the illumination of the full moon.
For a moment, I wanted to sit on that bench and just admire the flowers.
Suddenly Ethan hijacked my thoughts and there I was imagining him and I on that bench making out under the illumination of the full moon. Not caring about the world or even that Ivy but only the two of us confessing how truly and deep we are in love with each other.
If wishes were horses beggars would ride on.
I could feel tears balancing on my eyelids and instead of wiping them away I blinked them down my cheeks...I thought after he left her things would be different but nothing has changed.
He still doesn't acknowledge me on public and has to wear those stupid glasses and cap. He hasn't even looked for me not even for a second since Ivy walked in.
I need to shake it off a little before my mind explodes because of thinking too much about him. I took my phone out of my purse and scrolled through my music playlist...
Perfect....The heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez.
You got me sippin' on something
I can't compare to nothing
I've ever known, I'm hoping
That after this fever I'll survive
I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm praying
That I'm gonna make it out alive
The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants
I sang along with Selena Gomez, the image of Ethan and Ivy burning in my head and I am fuming...Just give me few seconds and steam will start getting out of my ears...
It's crap that the heart wants what it wants and what it wants seem unreachable. Indeed men are trash, Arrrrggh!!!!.
"S*xy girl????" Hope called behind me...
I quickly tried to wipe the tears before turning to her but the swollen eyes, messy mascara around my eyes sold me off.
"Don't tell me you are still crying because of that jerk..."
"It's hurts so much. That I want him and he wants her at the same time making me believe he left her for me..." I cried out, tears pooling my eyes.
"Lucky you, I brought some whisky from the bar. Everything was going on well until dad started belittling Ethan indirectly. The party got boring, all he does is smooch with Ivy like their lives depends on it..."
Hearing that, I started sobbing my hands on my face...
"Why are men trash????"
"You need a shot sissy...." Hope walked me to bed and handed me a glass of whisky,"Drown your sorrows in that whisky sissy..."
"Cheers to independence. Men are trash..." I sobbed lifting my glass up.
"If you go on like this, you will suffer from dehydration..."She handed me a box of tissues.
I began getting light headed as weird thoughts flooded my mind.
You should go and tell that rat Ivy that you are dating her man. That you are sharing...My inner goddess suggested.
That's a bad idea..My subconscious mind warned but I didn't care. If he doesn't want to introduce me to the world, maybe I should introduce myself...
With every glass of whisky, the idea to bring our relationship to the light got better and better..
"Ruby, Ethan is an asshole. He f*cks me and tells me he loves me only to flirt with Ivy..." I began crying again.
"What???" Hope shook her head as if she hadn't heard right.
"Yes I have been f*cking him. He dumped her for me that's what he said but he lied..." I think one ingredient used in making this whisky is the truth pill. I couldn't stop talking.
"I am gonna collapse. No, go into comma. No, I am getting a cardiac arrest..This is what Troy was talking about. That asshole, should we tell the others??? Everyone deserves to know.."
"Let's tell everyone. I am gonna pull Ivy by the ear and tell her the details with emphasis..." I described how I was gonna pull her ear and Hope wouldn't stop laughing.
"Is the world spinning more than normal???" Hope asked,resting her head on the pillow.
"Damn, it's moving so fast..."
"I guess Jesus has returned. He is flying in with a rocket that's why we are rotating..." I explained, resting my head beside her.
"I love Ethan alot Ruby that it hurts but he doesn't want me..." I stuttered..
"Then let's go tell my mom, she will help..."
"If I could only kill Ivy then I would...."
"Then what's stopping you???"
"I don't know where to hide her body..."
"We will watch how to get away with murder until we get it right Arya...Come, let me take you to the kitchen so we can grab a knife..."
We tried to stand up only to fall back on the bed laughing...
"Is there a way we can get there???I mean downstairs..."
"I will call a cab..." I suggested and Hope nodded in agreement. At least I am slightly sober..
We tried again to stand up but all in vain...
I began narrating about my relationship with Ethan when the door was slammed open.
"What the hell is going on here???" I know that voice. Where have I heard that voice???
I lifted my head and saw Ethan, Troy and Mia standing Infront of us.
"We are having our own party, cheers sissy..." Hope raised her hand up and we high-fived.
"Ethan you don't tell a girl you love her and flirt with other especially if you two are fucking. Do you get that???" Hope thundered.
"Tell him sissy..He is an asshole..." I struggled to sit upright which I finally did.
"Mia go distract mom and dad. I need to get Arya from here before she creates a scene..." Ethan said trying to take my hand but I drew it back.
"You are asshole," Tears of anger began streaming down my cheeks,"You lied to me. Did you just want to sleep with me???Then why give me false hopes???"
"Arya, you are drunk..." Ethan said in almost a loud voice.
"Why do you care???" I yelled.
"I care about you..."
"Do you???The whole night, you haven't even looked at me. Not even once. You were busy entertaining that sewer rat.."
"Arya , calm down..." He tried to touch me only for me to slap his hands away.
"You keep hurting me. You looked happy with her. Then just leave me and go back to her. Because there is no difference. You are a jerk. You only think about fame and football. You are so selfish, you only think about yourself..." I couldn't stop talking...
"Go fuck with her. Go back to her and never look for me. Because I won't keep waiting for you to make up your mind. I am human and it hurts. But was does a selfish self centred man know???"
"Arya???" He walked close to me. I tried to throw a kick but I couldn't even lift my leg.
"It was for appearances. I am doing this for you..."
"For me???" I laughed hard that my ribs ached,"It's for you Ethan, no one else. Don't even fool me on anything .. You are jerk, you are no man like Troy. Troy loves Sophie and he is faithful to that silly love." I hiccuped and rested my head on the pillow beside Hope who seemed to have passed out.
"Let us get you home Arya..." Those were the last words I heard him say.
I had knelt Infront of the toilet throwing up wearing only Ethan's black t-shirt when I felt a wet towel on the back of my neck...
"You girls really drunk alot. Hope has been throwing up since 3am..."
I didn't feel like seeing him let alone talking to him.
I stood up, flushed the toilet and walked to the faucet where I rinsed my face.
"Here, have some water..." He handed me a cold bottled water and I downed it without hesitation. I was really thirsty...
"Yesterday, you really said some harsh words..." He whispered and I walked past him.
"Are you going to give me this silent treatment crap???" He yelled behind my back.
I was done with his bullsh*t. I won't be the one in the sidelines waiting for him to stop being a confused junk.
I began walking to the closet when my arm was grabbed and he pulled me towards him.
"I am the one who should be mad. You told my sister about us, you called me an asshole and even had the guts to compare me to Troy. You deserve to be punished..."
"I want to go home and sleep..." I said in a bored tone.
"You are going nowhere Arya Almasi..." He placed his arm around my waist and pushed me closer to him.
"Do you want to have sex????" I asked in a tone full of sarcasm.
"I am only wearing a t-shirt. No, your t-shirt...Just turn me around, push me on the bed and have it. Or no, rip it open and let's do it in the bathroom like the first time."
"Arya???What has gotten into you???" He asked in a pleading tone.
"I realised you are a fake and a fony. I wish I never laid my eyes on you. I love you, give myself to you but I am never enough. I am done waiting." I cussed out in emphasis.
"I care about you Arya alot. About yesterday It was for appearances..."
"Appearances????You didn't ask me to dance. No text, you didn't even look for me. Immediately you saw her, you forgot your date. Do you want s*x??? Because that's all you want from this bitch, nothing more."
He dropped his arm from my waist and pulled back.
"Arya, I really care about you..."
"You say one thing and do the other Ethan....You are so comfortable with her. With me you have to wear fucking glasses and cap..I thought when you left her things would change but there is no difference. Just go back into her arms because I won't let you break me more than you have..."
I tried to bite down my cheek to keep from crying but couldn't. My heart was bleeding, my soul was in pain. It's like I was in a dark vacuum and no one came to my rescue. I was lost, I was drowning in the love I have for this man.
"I am sorry...." He whispered in a cracked voice.
"It's already too late Ethan, this can't work. You are so selfish that you never mind hurting those around you. I was your date yesterday but all you cared about is appearances..."
"Please don't leave me..." He had arms at his side, shoulders slumped.
"I will do better Arya Ethan Marcias..."
"Yesterday I realised, I am the one in the wrong place. Not Ivy. I came between two people in love and I hate myself for that. And I hate you for making me fall for you..." I shoved his chest with my hands only to be pulled closer..
"I am sorry Arya, don't leave please..." He whispered into my ear and all the hairs on my body stood up. I can't believe he still has the same effect on me even when I am fumming.
"Let's make love me forget all about this..." His mouth was on my neck, kissing and licking as I rolled my eyes.
It always summarises to us having s*x.
"You sicken me..." I whispered into his ear and pulled back.
I turned around and began walking towards the closet when he shouted, "Will you be my girlfriend Arya Almasi???"
A/N Hello smile squad???? I have really missed you.....Thanks for the support so far. I love you so much, make me happy pretty please by sharing this story with your friends
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