My only addiction - Episode 43

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Ethan's POV
My breath was ragged and harsh as I read the article about Arya and Malcolm for the tenth time. I was immobilised with fear of losing her as  my eyes got glossy with tears.

I have been looking for her all over town but she was busy having fun with that Malcolm guy. I even bought some things for her as a token of apology but no she had to be with him . I always knew he was bad news. If he thinks I would let him have my Arya then he should go back to sleep and wake up to reality.

She promised me to always love me but she lied..

But how could I blame her??? I am always hurting her. I have to let her all in or she will get tired at standing on my doorstep and soon leave.
  I have to overcome this disguised demon that is paralysing me. The fear of the unknown.

Why do I keep lying???? The reason I ignored her during Mia's graduation after party was because I was scared of been seen with her.

She makes me complete but that doesn't take the fear away. The fear of what might happen if people know we are dating. Will my fans love her or be against our relationship??? Will it affect my fame and publicity??? I can't be on people's wrong side. I always felt it was priority to please my fans but right now I am not sure if it's my priority anymore

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/my-only-addiction

. I have found my first in everything, Arya Almasi.

I wasn't willing and ready to let go everything between me and Ivy until now. I can't lose Arya..

I am not perfect  but I love her. It happened so fast that I can't tell when I fell for her. Was it after setting my eyes on her in that lousy bar??? I can't really tell. All I know is I didn't know want it meant to be really loved until I met her.

I thought after breaking up with Ivy everything would be less complicated but it just got more complicated.

I have fallen for her but I am scared to take the next step. For once in my life I want commitment, loyalty and love so bad but fear the vulnerability it's brings..

Just look what love has turned Troy into...He is like Sophie's puppet. I am sure if she told him to kill himself, he would. That's how much he loves her.

If I let this fear control me, someone is gonna take Arya from me. I can't let that happen.. It's either my fear or Arya. I can't have both, life has taught me that. I need to chose.

I looked at one of the pictures where Malcolm had carried Arya over his shoulder,his arm firmly around her naked thighs and felt my insides tearing just thinking of her leaving me for Malcolm.

Another picture he had his arm draped over her shoulder and Arya seemed comfortable and happy. But why wouldn't she be happy???He was proud to be seen with her in public.

Malcolm is so sweet and charming that it scares me.. Today I have to let her know how I feel. I won't let the fear torment me..I won't let the fear drive my Arya away..She deserved to know what I felt.

I was seated by the stairs at the front door waiting for her...It was getting late and her phone was still off..
What if she decided to run away with Malcolm???

I was tensed, every single muscle in my body went as tight as a coiled spring.

She will come back. She loves me... I tried to console myself when I heard her calling out to me. At first I thought it was just a dream until lifted my head. There she was, looking at me.

She came back. She never gave up on her Ethan.
The anger that was bubbling inside me slowly faded away as I ran to her...Just wrapping my arms around her made me feel whole again... She was truly back and in my arms where  she belonged.

But my five seconds of happiness were ruined when I saw that asshole's face. I wanted to break his nose right there but I didn't want him to know that him been close to Arya gets to me.

I wish he would just drop dead. I hate you Malcolm Raina. Why can't you have your eyes on another girl??? Arrrrggh!!!!

"Next time just don't let her walk down the streets crying. It's not a good picture..."

Arya was crying..I am always bringing tears in her eyes but that's soon to change. There and then I was tempted to go down on my knees and seek forgiveness for all those times I have brought tears in her eyes. For all those times, I have given her pain and mad her heart ache...

The last thing I want is another jearkass comforting my woman because I am too afraid to man up to my feelings.

After Malcolm had left, we walked back to the house. Everything that I had read and everything that had happened earlier that day began playing in my mind in a slow motion.. The anger in me earlier began to find its way back in.

"How dare you???"
Arya stifled a yelp when I grabbed her arm and backed her up until she was leaning against the door.
"Leave me Ethan...."
"Have you seen that f*cking article??? Have you slept with him???" I asked, gripping both shoulders in my hands.

"How dare you say that???" She asked in a whisper. Tears bursted forth like a dam, spilling down her face..
"What do you expect me to say??? You said you were taking a walk then the next thing I see is you two getting cosy..."

"Atleast he knows how to treat me right. I think you should take classes from him. He doesn't hurt me unlike some immature selfish jearkass I know. I wish I had met him earlier. I wish it's him I fell for..." She yelled. Her voice full of disgust and regret.

I dropped my hands from her shoulders and staggered back. Her words were like poison to my soul and they were slowly killing me.

A tear dripped from my eye and I didn't bother to wipe it away.
"Yesterday you promised me Arya, you said you will always love me.. It's me you love Arya.." I stuttered.

"Have you ever said the three words??? Maybe I am forcing myself, maybe I suffocate you, may...."
"Don't say that baby...." I tried to come close to her but she held her hand at me, "Don't come close to me.."

"What should I not say??? You f*cking promised not to call or text her. But what were you doing in the morning Ethan??? You make a fool out of me because I love. But don't get too comfortable, someone might just win me over..." She said the last statement with too much arrogance.

Damn you Ivy!!!! How can I explain it to her that Ivy is a physopath??? That if I don't be friendly she might do something stupid that would ruin my reputation.

But in the morning, I didn't want to hurt her. Ivy just wanted some help from my lawyer and before I knew it we were talking about everything..

It seems everything I do nowadays involves choosing.
You have no choice Ethan, if you want to be happy with Arya you have to cut all ties with Ivy. I know it's hard but that the price you will pay for this love...My subconscious mind stated.

"By someone do you mean Malcolm????"
"Maybe yes or maybe not...But probably yes, he is a good guy. I wish you just see how right he treats me..."

If it was her plan to infuriate me more then she had succeeded.
"I want you to quit that job???You have to choose between me and that job..." I didn't realise those words had  slipped from my mouth.

"What kind of a man are you???" She managed to land a few angry punches against my hard body and a lucky one on my jaw. She might look tiny but she can really punch.
"Arya???" I held her hands up in the air,"Stop it..."

"I have to be the one that should always understand. The one who should always be hurt.You know what I am done. It's always about Ivy. Your trip to LA, Hope's after graduation party if that isn't worse you called me Ivy hours after we had sex..I give up on you young man. You are beyond me, I won't let you break me more than you have..." She tried to fight off my grip.

I felt like someone had hit my head with a hammer.
You know what I am done...Those words were torture to my ears. She can't leave me, I will treat her right. I am ready to change, just for her.

"You can't leave me Arya, you are only mine...." I yelled at her that she flinched.
"I have never felt like I am yours. Now let me go..."

I set her free and she pushed her way past him heading towards the staircase.
"Arya, I am sorry...."

She halted and turned around to face me," I am tired of hearing that word, it disgusts me." She swiped the hot tears from her face with the back of both her hands and ran upstairs..

I fell on my knees calling out to her, my body paralysed with agony and grief but she didn't turn to look at me. "Arya I am sorry..."
"Arya!!!!Don't leave me...."
"Arya!!!!Come back..."

That's was it, Malcolm had succeeded in taking Arya from me.

My happiness was like a puff of smoke..

You can't give up right now Ethan, she loves you. You have to say those three words Ethan...My subconscious mind advised.
She is so mad..What of she doesn't listen to me???I am scared...I replied.
You have to try Ethan...You love her, don't let her go...My subconscious mind insisted.

Let me go and try to talk to her.. When I reached our bedroom and heard the shower on I started retreating when I picked out another sound beneath the pounding water.

Sobs that absolutely froze me. My chest crumbled as I thought of the soul-rending sadness I had caused her.

I wasn't ready to let her go and that's when an idea popped up..

Arya's POV
I can't believe Ethan would scope that low.
God why did you allow me to fall in love with such selfish self-centred man.

I wish I had the strength to leave him and never look back but that's where the problem is. He is the centre of my universe. I rather die than live without him.. But for this to work, we need a break. Maybe then I will have a tiny bit of space in his heart. I am tired of him stepping all over me. I looked like a obsessed girl who can't let her ex go and it sucks.

As I walked out of the bathroom, I found Ethan seated on the edge of the bed rubbing his jaw.
"Does it hurt???" C'mon Arya, why can't you act like you don't care???
"You can really punch...." He chuckled.
"You pushed me to the edge. Anyway, I plan to go back to Nairobi tomorrow. We need a break so as you can decide what you want..." At least I managed to say that without breaking down. Although that was the last thing I wanted, it was for the best..

"Arya, we don't need a break...We are okay, it is just a misunderstanding..." He cried out.
"It's for the best Ethan..." I said dryly.

"I want you Arya,"He tried coming close to me but I held my hand against him,"Don't come close to me Ethan.."

"Let's do this, why don't you get ready as I prepare a surprise for you downstairs and if I don't win you over then I will personally drive you back to Nairobi tomorrow..."

"Trust me, I am sure you won't win me over. I am done with your excuses Ethan. You make me look desperate and I hate it. I love you but I won't let you step all over me...."I felt choked up with unshed tears.

"You have nothing to lose Arya. One last chance and if I mess it up then I will let you break this off...."

"Okay..." I said dryly....
He was right, what do I have to lose??? Plus I was curious to see what surprise he had in store...

He walked to the closet and took out  two black shopping bags.
"I would love you to wear these..." He handed them to me..
"What is in there???" I asked curiously.
"I will let you find out...Thank you for this last chance...." He pressed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"And please don't come out of the room until I come for you. Can you do that for me????"
"Sure...."

From the first shopping bag, I pulled out a very beautiful red dress. In the second shopping bag, there was a pair of beautiful black  strap heels. Wow!!!!This is so romantic and sweet. For a moment I forgot I was mad at him. Focus Arya.

I looked like a model from a fashion magazine. The dress hugged my figure perfectly. I wonder how he knew my size..

It was a red mermaid applique halter sleeveless sweep train satin dress...To top it all it was backless. Damn!!!That dress was officially my favourite.

I was ready and set to go downstairs by 7 o'clock by Ethan was still not back...I checked the time again on my phone and it was thirty minutes past eight. Did he decide to go and leave me here???I can practically expect anything from this man.

"That's it, I am done..." I lifted my hands up in surrender and began walking towards the door when he walked in. He was all sweaty, his hair so messy.

"I thought I told you to wait..." He said in an authoritative voice.
"I was getting impatient. Maybe you decided to leave me here and go to be with Ivy..." I crossed my arms on my chest.

"I don't want to argue with you especially when you look this beautiful. I knew you would look perfect in that dress, the moment I saw it..."

I tried to pretend his compliment didn't get to me but it was already to late. A small smile had creeped on my lips.
"Can you show me the surprise already????"

"Patience baby...Let me freshen up and change..." He walked close to me but I stepped back.
"I told you not to touch me Mr Marcias..."
"You will be begging me to touch you later Mrs Marcias..." He winked at me and walked into the bathroom..  I  couldn't help but smile at his cockiness.

He settled for a pair of black jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a black blazer..The outfit was made complete with a pair of black new loafers.. This man looks hot in anything. I bet he would rock even in a sackcloth.

"Are you ready baby????"
I nodded and hooked my hand on his arm which caught both of us by surprise.
"You look so beautiful Mrs Marcias...."
"Just show me the surprise already..." I rolled my eyes at him. I wasn't going to make this easy for him.

When he opened the door , they were rose petals  all over the floor and vanilla scented candles lined up by the walls up to the living room.
"What's happening???" I stammered.
"Sssssh!!!!"

There was a nice smooth music and the light from the candles gave the room a warm inviting glow.

Before I could say anything he walked me to the dining room. The table was set beautifully with flowers and crystal bowls half filled with water with beautiful lighted floating candles...So he can be romantic of he wants to.

"What's all this Ethan???" I choked out.
"I know you are hungry...Let's eat. I am sorry, I  couldn't manage to cook so I ordered food for us.."
"It's okay..."

He pulled the chair for me and I sat. He sat across me, his eyes on me all the time...
"Wine????It's Cabernet Sauvignon my favourite."
"Yes please..."
He poured the wine in the glass for me, his eyes immensely looking at me.
" Thank you..." I smiled and took a large gulp.

Everything made me nervous. I didn't know what to think anymore. What did all these mean???.

"I hope you don't mind having pizza. I didn't know what to get...."

I nodded pouring myself some more wine. It was actually my third glass. This romantic madness didn't want a sober mind.
"Mrs Marcias, go easy on the wine. I want you sober for what I am about to do.."

"Why are you doing this Ethan???? All this can't fix everything..." I stuttered.

He half closed his eyes as if drugged, absorbing my words. When he opened them again, they were blazing with love.

Something that caught me by surprise. What had this person across me done with my Ethan??
"I don't want to lose you Arya. You are only mine..."

I wanted to believe those words but I was used to them. I needed something different, different words to believe him this time round.

"Okay..." I shrugged and dug into my food. I could feel his eyes move over me. From my eyes, to my nose, cheeks, lips to the curve of my neck, slope of my shoulders, my chest as I blushed thinking about the little exposed cleavage. He must be dancing his eyes around there.

"You are so beautiful Arya..."

I felt like time had stood still, stopping just for us. My heart was beating so fast that I was afraid it would burst out.. Happiness was exploding through me like a sunburst.

I didn't say anything...I continued eating slowly but heartly sipping wine throughout.

Before I could could finish the pizza on my plate, he stood from his chair allowing it to slightly scrape  against the tiles and knelt Infront of me.

"Ethan what are you doing????" I stammered. Yes I loved him but I wasn't ready for marriage. And I was sure I wouldn't say no...

"Arya I am glad I bumped into you in that lousy bar. Since then, my life changed. You are the reason I know what it feels to be really really loved. I have..." He clenched his jaw before going on,"hurt you so much but you were always there for me. What else could I ask for Arya??? You make me happy and complete. I want a life with you. I rather die than not have you by my side. When I saw you today with Malcolm, I was scared that I had finally lost. I have read the article like ten times not believing that another man was making my Arya happy. Arya Almasi I love you...."

"What???" I almost choked on my saliva.
"Yes Arya. I have always loved you. I don't know when I fell for you but I did and now I want a eternity with you. I love you Arya...."

I was shaking not sure I could speak. I couldn't believe he finally got to say the three words.
"I love you too..." I said between sobs..

Ethan kept his eyes on me the entire time, flashing me the sweetest smile I have ever seen.

He took out the box from his blazer and chuckled,"I hope you don't slap it from my hand this time..."
"I won't..." I laughed as he slipped the ring on my finger.
"This is a promise ring my baby. I promise to never hurt or leave you. Till death do us part my baby..."

"I didn't expect this from you Ethan. I must say you won me over..."
"I don't wanna lose you...I don't want any other man to take you from me Arya. You are my world, my everything..."

For once I felt like he bled sincerity...
"I will always be here my love. I love you..."
"I love you too..." He leaned closer and we locked our mouths for a kiss. The kiss felt so perfect.
He finally said he loves me..

Someone pass me tissues I can't stop crying...
My inner goddess was almost out of tissues because of too much crying.
Finally  he maned up...My subconscious mind sneered.

"Shall we dance baby????" The word baby just felt perfect coming from his lips.
"Yes my love..."

Everything seemed to good to be true.

Ethan held me so close, my body mouldering into his  as if we were made for each other. I placed my hand on his shoulder and we danced silently listening to our fast beating hearts.

All over sudden, he moved away and I was confused. Did he change his mind???

Within a second, he twirled me around like a doll and pushed his front into her back.
"I love you Arya..." He rubbed his nose on the side of my neck..
"I love you too Ethan..."

I was deliciously intoxicated as I inhaled it all.

Read " Attitude meets Arrogance " by the same author ( Fideh Mwangi )

. His mixed scent  of body heat, wine and him. It was a divine feeling..

He slowly unzipped my dress and  I felt shivers down my spine as it pooled on the floor.
"You are so beautiful my Arya..."

He turned me around and carried me bridal style to the sofa. Thanks heavens I was wearing my favourite black lacy bra and panties.

I undressed him, his eyes stuck on my lips.

"I am gonna make love to you .."He whispered and leaned closer.

His mouth was suddenly hard upon mine, filling my mouth with his. I felt him consume me with desire and I loved it. He then began slowly and passionately toy with my lips and mouth with weirdly accelerated my arousal.

It didn't feel like any night. Everything felt right. A night full of passion and e*ctasy. I was officially his.

******

I let my eyes adjust to the sunlight as they flew open only to see Ethan resting on one arm, looking down at me.

"Morning baby????"

"Why are you up so early???" I yawned, stretching out.

"I wanted to look at the love of my life...The girl I love more than life itself..."

A/N I am so excited Ethan was able to say the three important words. Full chapter on wattpad my people. I think I need a cake for the frequent updates...Kisses and hugs your way my love.

ps. Those fearing for Ethan and Arya's relationship, whatever happens they will end up together finally.