Mmesoma's Dilemma - Episode 15

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“Welcome o, I was beginning to think we would never say morning prayers”, aunty Kainene said when everyone else had arrived.

Mom was carrying a frowning Dubem, Ezinne was trying to pacify Dozie while dad and grandma’s faces were expressionless.

“Kneel down”, dad said and we complied.

“In the name of the Father”, he began.

“And of the son and of the Holy Spirit”, we all responded.

Then out of nowhere aunty Kainene said “Come oh, Holy Spirit and fill the hearts of the faithful”

Wait first, is she leading the prayer and is she about to pray the Rosary?

“Today, I am leading the Prayer and we are not praying the Rosary this morning because we would do so in the evening during the Legion of Mary meeting”, my father explained, but my aunt was not having that.

“Paul, clearly you do not honor the Blessed Virgin Mary, no wonder your children are so disobedient and I know that it is Uju’s fault because this is not how we were raised”, she retorted.

My parents, siblings and I, excluding sleeping Dubem, stared at her in shock.

This woman is mad; daddy should just change it for her.

See ehn, daddy does not joke with his beloved wife (who he can sell his children to protect) and the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Now, the ever foolish Aunty Kainene just insulted my mother and my father’s devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, in one breath. Also, let us not forget the very stupid way woke everyone up.

This woman though.

“Kainene, you are a guest in this house and should act as such, I would not condone such utterances from you anymore and that foolish stunt you pulled this morning should not happen again or you would hate me”, he warned

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Okay, wait, what?!

Wow! I knew he would warn her but that happened fast. Clearly, my normally tolerant father was getting fed up with his sister and her shenanigans. Ezinne and Dozie were trying not to grin and my mother was clearly in shock. My aunts and my grandma could not believe their ears and their faces said it all.

“So, you would insult me, your sister necause of your wife?” aunty Kainene asked.

Chai, this woman is sha dumb o, before nko.

“For a man shall leave his father and mother and become one with his wife”, Ezinne said, in what she probably intended to be a whisper but which everyone heard and none of the three of us could hold back our giggling.

Read " Coming of Age " by the same author ( Eboseremen )

. My aunts were speechless; grandma looked like she would faint, I wanted to high-five my sister for that sassy comeback.

My father carried on with the morning devotion as though nothing had happened and my aunts behaved themselves till the end of the prayer.

Immediately the sign of the cross was made, signaling the end of prayers, my siblings and I hurried off to our rooms, it was only 5:50 and if we were lucky enough, we would manage to sneak in extra sleep.

“You people should start preparing o, you better not go back to bed, else”, my mom shouted after us.

Na so! This threat is empty biko, we are all going to get at least 30 minutes or more worth of good sleep.

I hurried into my room, shut the door and set about doing the things that would gie me extra sleep time.

First things first, set out my clothes for church. I picked out a simple A-line floral dress I had sewn last month, thank God it was ironed, I hung it up. I brought out my black sandals, black scarf and black handbag. I checked to make sure my phone and power bank were getting charged, because I cannot stand having a dead phone. I placed my earpiece, hymn book, otter and purse into my bag.

Now a girl can sleep without worries.

I must have slept for up to an hour or maybe more because by the time I was up, the sun was bright and shining outside and I could hear my mother screaming Ezinne’s name. My wall clock said it was already 7:20. Wow! I had slept that long?

First mass starts by 6:00 or 6:30 depending on the priest and second mass would begin by 8:30 or 9:00 depending on when the first mass closes. My house was not beside my church, if there was no traffic, it was a 45 minutes drive and then came the hassle of navigating a parking space, but if there was traffic, then, just off your engine and get comfortable because no one would be going anywhere anytime soon, hence, my dad always wanted us out of the house by 7:30.  

I hurried out of bed, had my bath and began dressing up for church. By 8:00 a.m. I was all dressed; I ensured my make-up looked as nude and natural as possible, because I was in no mood to explain to my father what products were on my face, my braid had been styled into a donut and I had tied my hair, I assessed myself in the mirror and loved what I saw.

Now to go to church, normally I am be the last one downstairs since I am the only one who uses makeup in the house but today my aunts are still upstairs and everyone knows that their makeup, would be the reason we would be late.

Hopefully they are good at it now than they were during grandpa’s burial because I will not even agree to help them out again.

Eventually we left the house at 9:15 and only God knows when we would get to church.

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