Beautiful Faults - Episode 10

 

Kindly read the chapter carefully, thank you.

June’s Pov
As the bus maneuvered out of the town and towards the city, I could feel my heart beating so fast it could bust only if that’s possible. I was about to go back to my past after leaving it behind for two years and living in it every single day of my life. My life was so messed up when I got back to our town that my mom had to hook me up to a therapist because I was already on the edge of going insane. 

I would lock myself up in my room for days and cry till weakness overpower me and I lose consciousness.
My parent didn’t take it serious, thinking I was going through the pain because I couldn’t get myself out of it that way they did, they thought I had a weak heart, one that’s not able to overcome pain . Until the day that they realized the truth: that I was a monster.

The look on my mom’s face told me all I needed to know, she hates me for what I did and when I couldn’t take it anymore, their absence from home because they were both trying to avoid the devil living with them. I didn’t have a choice; I succumbed to my weaknesses and gave it all away.

Getting a razor blade from dad’s toilet, I sat in my room and slited my palm with it in three exact spot, right on the veins and I watch those veins up and alert uncovered by the flesh no more. As blood gushed out of them so also was the life left in me slipped away in minutes as I was faced with darkness.

As my eye open to light, I was expecting hell until I saw my mom’s face looking down at me and smiling and then I knew that yet, I failed again

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/beautiful-faults

. I decided at that moment that maybe its just not worth it and maybe that’s the punishment that I deserve, I have to stay and suffer for all the pains that I’ve caused this people. 

That’s my own given punishment.
Live and suffer, June. That’s what you deserve

As I alighted from the bus station, I looked around me and realized that everywhere was just as I left it two years back, nothing has changed, and that reminded me of my life now. I left the station and made my way to the flower shop.

“Hi Angela” Angela’s feet were trapped to the floor as she watched me enter that shop with a fake smile. I was not even the last person she has expected to see today. She didn’t bother to hide her surprise or maybe because she couldn’t.
“Christ is Lord, June!” she rushed to my side before giving me a heart crushing hug.
“I didn’t know I’ll be seeing you today after such a long time. How have you been darling?’ she was smiling and I was glad she didn’t have that pitiful look on her face.
“I’ve been good, not better than before” I replied sincerely and she smiled again.

Read " Imperfection " by the same author ( Penangel )

. “That’s great, seeing you here in NY is a good sign that all is well”
“Thanks Ela. Can I get some flowers, just white lilies, her favorite?” she nodded and quickly went to the back of the store where new flowers are grown and got me some nice ones. I watched as she gently gets the flowers ready for me, she was even extra careful with it as if they’ll break.
“How much is it?” I asked as she handed the flower over to me. 

“You paid with your presence already June, she’ll be so happy to see your face today” she held my hand for a while, holding it firmly, trying to tell me that everything is fine. Even though her shop holds a lot of memories for me, both good and bad, it still feels like home.

“ill stop by at the apartment for a while, is that okay with you?” I had stayed with her for a while before I graduated school because that was the only way I could survive all that I was going through then and looking back now, I regret ever doing that.
“Its no problem, even a mail came in for you this morning and I was thinking of a way to send it to you but thank God you’re here”
“A mail, what was it all about?” I asked
“I didn’t check it but your name was on it, you can check it when you get there. The key is still at its regular spot” I appreciated her and left the shop to my destination. As I reached the gate, I stopped for a while to think this through and when I realized that I could do this, I walked to stone that stood out from others, not because it was painted with the most beautiful color in the world but because it housed the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known n my life.

As tears rolled down my eyes, I read the words on the stone, like out loud because I didn’t get the chance to look at it when she was being buried.
Justine Johnson (1995-2017)
A beautiful daughter and sister
The most amazing soul that ever existed
“As long as the sun shines and as long as the wind blows, so long am I with you”
I sat at the foot of her grave and as the tears continue rolling, I didn’t stop telling her how sorry I was for everything that happened. I couldn’t tell her of any new development because I couldn’t stop telling her about how sorry I was for getting everyone into the mess I created and for not being the one lying down right now and not her.

“Happy birthday, Justine. I love you and I’m sorry” the day she was born was the day she died and her funeral was attended by almost all the student bodies. I couldn’t finish my speech at her funeral that day before I was drowned by tears. But the last words written on her grave was the last words she told me. She was a beautiful poet and she would have been the world greatest if not for my mistake.

I went by the apartment before going to the bus station and after picking up some of my school stuffs that I left there, I decided to check the mailbox for the letters that Angelina talked about and when I opened the letter I realized it was two and it was a letter from the past. 

Dated back to 2017, two days before Justine surrendered to her creator.
One letter for me to be opened on my birthday and the other for Veronica on her wedding day and on the back, a small note was scribbled
“From your favorite candle that lightened up your world but got placed in the wind too early, Justine,  to my most favorite girls, Ron and June.