Dysfunctional - Episode 2

 

Isabel's POV

I met John one afternoon after I had said hi to a friend of mine who worked in Bishop law firm. It started raining after I walked into the firm. I felt like the universe was definitely against me cause I still had to go to work. While going down, John and i met in the elevator, we were alone so we talked for a while.
 For starters, I fancied him, his height. His voice was magical like he should be an OAP on radio. He looked so good in the black suit he wore. Crazy thoughts ran through my mind but I never executed one. I didn't want to show my naughty side. 
He spoke about things I clearly can't remember cause I was obviously drooling over him. 
We went our separate ways then I rushed outside hiding under a shed then I waited for a taxi to drive by.
"Where are you going to?" I heard someone yell from inside a car. The car pulled up close to me, it was no one other than John. "Hop in" he offered, "I'll take you anywhere you want. I'm done for the day but if you're not comfortable, I can drop you by the next bus-stop" he added and I accepted his offer.
That was where our love story began and it started crumbling the first day we tried having s*x. I got to find out he has never had s*x before. I happily proposed to be his first but then the shocking confession blew in like some whirlwind; something I might get to live with for as long as I'm with him. 
John was s*xually impotent. He has never had an erection and though he would try to convince me the medications prescribe would work but I have come to a conclusion that there was no medical cure for it.
I've seen cases of ex-girlfriend concoting juju against ex-boyfriend, either that or i watch a lot of African magic. 
I love John Bosco and I love his money as well. I've come to realize that I need to get help, or get him help or else I'll get mad with disappointment. 
I was getting tired of him.

I entered into the house slamming the door angrily. After another disappointment from him, the only thing I needed was a strong drink and s*x.... Well... Which was kind of impossible. I sat on the sofa then groaned in frustration.
 "What's up?" My big sister, Tasha asked reducing the volume on the T.V. 
"I thought you would spend the night at John's place"
"Abeg no just call him name"
"What happened? Are you fighting with him?" "No, I just couldn't stay over"
"Why?" She insisted and I busted into tears. I have never told anyone about John's inability to have s*x. I've always deemed it fit to keep it a secret so he won't be mocked.
 "John is impotent" I confessed to Tasha's shock. "Is there water in my ears or you just said..."
"I'm serious"
"Is he a one minute guy or two"
"He's never had s*x, we've never" I continued. "He doesn't get aroused"
"That's not natural" Tasha opined and I agreed. That's what I've been trying to tell him but he won't listen."
 "That kind of fine man with all those wealth. Na wa oh, what a waste!" She sympathised looking at me pitifully. 
"Ehya Sha, even with no s*x at least there's money involved na"
"Forget about the money! I'm frustrated and I want it so badly but I don't want to cheat"
"There are other means sister you don't need me to educate you"
"They don't work!" I yelled. I knew exactly what she meant but I needed the the real deal. I wanted him but It was impossible.
"I know one Babalawo (witch doctor) that can do the job" Tasha suggested and I shot a glare at her. I wondered how she knew such a place. 
"If you can convince him"
"He's a strong Catholic, he'll never do it"
"Easy then! If he can't do the job, get someone to do it for you" she advised and I shook my head. I couldn't picture myself cheating on him. I just couldn't.  

Bosco's POV

The next day after another uneventful event with Isabel, I sat in my office studying. I had a case to take on and I needed to be in my best game but my mind was in pieces. 
I picked up my car keys then bolted off to see Alex in the hospital where he works as one of the doctors. "I'm desperate" I said on seeing him. "Let's go to the office"
"This can't wait"
"What happened?"
"Ella has refused picking my calls and I'm desperate" "Jeez! I've never seen you this way"
"She threatened me okay? How about that stuff we talked about" I said referring to his idea of him getting me a psychologist or a therapist to help me out. 
"I called a doctor I know and he called this doctor he knows"
"Please get to the point"
"There's this psychologist, her name is Dr. Sommy" "Sommy? Where is she from?" I asked, "Don't be deceived my brother, she's an ibo girl. Her name is Chisom Kalu" He explained. It finally made sense to me.
 "They say it's her field, she's good with these things" he paused looking at something, apparently he was staring at an elderly patient who was struggling to walk with a young lady beside him, probably his daughter not even paying attention to him. 
I heard Alex hiss. "Although they said her methods are good but they usually go overboard" he revealed and I gave it a thought.
 "You can look her up on the internet, although you might come across some scandals and"
I was discouraged, I told him I didn't want her anymore, I demanded for another person."Obviously she has no scruples to have her personal life escalate into the internet. Please get me another"
Alex suddenly raised his elbow as though to hit me on the face and I dodged. "No dey talk to me like say I be your P.A, I'm your best friend, talk to me like one" he demanded and I laughed then he joined in.
"Feel free to read her book titled extreme measures. Her methods works like magic." He continued handing a pamphlet to me.
 I wasn't sure whether to collect it or not but I did anyways. "Call the clinic up and book an appointment"
"Hey Baby" A voice called out behind me and I recognized it. It was Alex's wife, Regina. She grudgingly walked towards us with her eight months gone belly bump. 
"Gina went into labor this morning" he announced. "I haven't gone into labor yet doctor, I have contractions" she corrected and Alex laughed. "How did you get your degree again?" She asked and I laughed. 
Gina was a doctor; they've been married for four years and they're about having their third child. I've always been so envious of Alex and his family. I wish I could have something better than what he has.

"My water hasn't broken yet and I've been exercising all morning" she added and I cleared my throat getting ready to leave. "Whenever he clears his throat that means he's leaving already" she concluded and I scoofed. "That's a hasty conclusion. I don't do that every time" I argued and she rolled her eyes.
 "When I have my boy, I'll name him John"
"Please don't add Bosco to it" Alex begged and I laughed. There was no dull moment being with the both of them but I had to leave.
"I wish you a safe delivery" I added quickly taking my leave.

I received a call from a private investigator who i paid to find my siblings. He called to inform me he was waiting at the firm to have a discussion with me. I quickly rushed over, expecting a good news.
"How was your trip?" I asked him, "Uyo city is still a lot more better than Lagos in terms of traffic. It took me two hours to get here." He complained and I chuckled. "I enjoy the delicacies, I'm now a fan of their Afang soup" he commented and I tried to remember how long it's been since i tasted the soup. It's been three months.
"Any hope on my siblings? Specifically Mary" He asked and Peter shook his head. The last thing I needed was another bad news.
"I told you to talk to the people concerning Mary Bassey, someone should know where she is; even if it meant paying them" "Same old, no one knows where she ran to"
Three years ago I employed Pete to help me find my siblings. I thought it would be easier because I knew our address and dad's village. On the contrary It's been difficult.
I learnt mom committed sucide leaving little Joseph to be taken by a family friend. Mary and James got separated after grandma died. Mary got married and had two kids. She soon ran away from the so called husband who was rumoured to have been maltreating her. There were speculations that she ran away with another man.
James ran away from town because of a woman who wanted him arrested for stealing her money. I wanted to find out how things went wrong.
"I did find someone who knew the whereabouts of Mark" Pete said and I let out a sigh of relief. I suddenly grew Interested. Finally some good news!
 "Where's he?"
"In prison" he answered and I felt my heart break again. "I don't understand, for what?"
"He was arrested on the count of murder"
"Are you sure it's Mark?"
"Yes... The person he killed is no other than Mary's husband"
I didn't understand why Mark did what he did. He has always had a bad temper. I didn't want to be reunited with him In jail so I decided that i would find a way to get him out. 
"How?" Peter asked, "it's murder" he added and I chuckled with thoughts running through my head.
 "Mark is not exactly okay; he has a condition. I'll send a lawyer to go with you"
"I've been staying in hotels" Peter complained, "I'll increase your pay, just help me find them all"

Alex called me afterwards, Gina finally had a boy after two girls. I tried my best to be happy for them despite my challenges. I called the office of the therapy clinic and they helped me scheduled an appointment with this Dr. Sommy.
The following week, I drove over to the clinic earlier than scheduled only to realize the therapist was a late comer.
Thirty minutes went by and she still didn't show up. I couldn't wait any longer. I've never kept a client waiting, I didn't see why others should keep their clients waiting
I walked over to her secretary, literally fuming. "This is unethical!" I yelled, "How can your boss keep a client waiting for...." I glanced at my wrist watch. "Thirty four minutes" I completed and she shrugged.
"Everything about Dr. Sommy is unethical" she replied and I stared blankly at her. Was she supposed to give me such response?
 "It says so in her book" she continued raising the book up. "In chapter three" she continued and I shook my head in regret. I would have to call Alex to find me another therapist.
"Morning Filda" I heard a lady say. I turned only to see a slim, tall and fair lady who had a navy blue shirt on tucked into a white trousers. She looked like a broomstick divided in half, okay, maybe there's a little exaggeration but she sure looked as though she was a model.
"Morning Dr. Sommy" the secretary replied smiling at her. "So you're the Dr. Sommy?"
"Yes I am" she replied not paying attention to me. "How could you keep a client waiting" I demanded looking at my wrist watch once more. "Forty minutes"
"He's definitely a time keeper" she replied chuckling. 
"Excuse me?" I asked, It felt like salt all over my injury. I felt insulted.
" Sorry about the lateness, I had to attend to the dead's wish" she answered laughing at her own joke.
" You probably don't understand the joke" she added but I cared less. All I wanted was a damn apology and a good one at that.

"We'll work overtime" she replied and I scoffed. Who was she kidding? My meeting was scheduled for 9 am to 10 am. I couldn't possibly work overtime as though I had nothing doing. 
"I've got important business to take care of, you don't keep a client waiting"
"Okay" she paused, there was my apology hanging on her lip.
"You're definitely a lawyer" she answered and I raised my brow in shock, "How?" I asked, "It's what I do" she replied opening the door to her office then she turned over to her secretary.
"If Mrs. Ajayi calls you, just tell her I travelled to Imo State for a cousin's baby shower and I will be back next week" then she entered. I followed her in unable to believe my own ears. Right in my presence, she just asked the secretary to cover up for her.
The office was a sight to behold, repulsive to the core. There were books in every nook and crany of the office. 
There were more books on the floor than in the shelf close to the wall. They was a white board at the extreme side of the office. The arrangement was horrible.
"Sorry about how the office looks, I personally instructed the maids to leave it that way. I love my personal space"
I scoffed, "Personal space and personal dirt?" I didn't understand why a woman would be so untidy. "If your office can look this disorganized, I wonder how your home would look like" "Not like I would invite you anyway" she replied and i scoffed once more.
 "Sit and let's begin this session"
"Sit where? There are books on all the seat"
"Sit on the floor then" she snapped and I took some books off from a chair sitting directly opposite her.
 "Let's begin!" She tapped her laps in what seemed like excitement. I wanted to know why she was happy and she blamed it on andrenaline rush as a psychologist. She sounded rude.
 "What's your name?" She asked. "You don't know the name of your own client"
"That's the essence of introduction, I get know you and you get to know me"
"My name is Barrister John Bosco Bishop of Bishop law firm"
"Bishop law firm? Never heard of it" 
"You're kidding me right?" This lady was beginning to get on my nerves. Bishop firm is one of the most prestigious law firm in the country. How come she has never heard of it? "No it doesn't ring a bell. It's Lagos, there are more law firms that aboki shop. Everyone law graduate is establishing law firm as though it's a provision store. Law is overrated in Nigeria and lawyers are unprofessional"
"And psychologist are topnotch" I added sarcastically, "You just stole the word out of my mouth"
"That was supposed to be sarcastic!" I snapped.
"Your name is like the the first stanza of the national anthem" she complained.
"Call me John Bosco"
"Bosco sounds like a name I'll give my dog" she reply laughing. "Come here Bosco, come here Bosco" she continued now throwing her head in laughter. I tightened my fist trying hard not to get angry.
 "I was named after a Reverend father" "Tough luck" she replied looking away. 
"Okay what's your dilemma?" She asked, "Why are you here?"
"I ..." I paused, I didn't know how to reveal it all to a crazy woman like her without hurting my pride. "Any day!" She added and I glared at her.
"I have an issue" I paused again, "It's s*xual" "Don't be embarrassed John, there's nothing I haven't seen before, no sexual condition is new to me. Is it that you can't keep an erection?"
"It's more complicated. I've never had one" I revealed and she opened her mouth slightly. I could tell she was shocked.
She stood up then walked towards me. "How long I've you had this? When did you realize it"
"I realized it in secondary school. Porns never moved me. I had my first s*xual experience when I was in the university... But it was a total disappointment cause nothing happened. I wanted it but,"
"Not even a tickle" she asked and I shook my head. "So you're a virgin then" she assumed almost as though she was mocking me. "How old are you?" She added, "Thirty five" I replied and she laughed.
"That's legendary. We should put you on a virgin hall of fame"
"Don't mock me"
"I'm not! Trust me dear, I need you to sign me an autograph man, you're a virgin celebrity" she continued almost forcing a chuckle out of me but I maintained a straight face.
 "Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked and I nodded.
"But s*x has been inhibited because of my condition. She thinks it's diabolical"
"She might be right"
"I don't believe in those crap"
"I'm of the Christ Embassy faith, I believe in that crap"
"I'm Catholic, I don't"
"Some Catholic believe in things like..." She trialed off, "But there's also a chance that it might be psychological" she added pushing the chair I sat on backwards then knelt down before me. Before I could ask what was going on, Dr. Sommy's hands was all over my Johnson from the fabric of the trousers I wore.
"Are you crazy?" I stood up from where I sat.
"I've been accused of being w*rse"
"How dare you touch me? I can have you sued for s*xual assault"
"Join the queue" she snapped still moving close to me. I felt like she was going to r*pe me. "Stay away!"  
"Oh quit being a cry baby. I won't hurt you. I'm just doing my job . My methods are crazy and extreme. You have to read my book extreme measure. My client are usually desperate and I'm sure you are. How badly do you want to get cured and let your Juliana know you're a man"
"It's Isabel"
"Whatever, I don't care. Just Let me feel it" she requested and I close my eyes. "That's crazy"
"Don't consider it as cheating. I'm trying to help you here. It's a symbiotic relationship"
She knelt down touching my Johnson, i wondered how she got her degree as a psychologist. This had to be the most insane thing I've ever done. 
"Does she touch you?" She asked, "she does" I replied. 
"Do you feel pains, maybe you're diseased"
"I'm not! I've gone for several test"
She stood up shaking her head. "It's dead" she concluded, "Call me when it's time for the vigil mass" she added laughing. 
I was more annoyed. I wanted to leave the office but I wondered why I didn't.
Maybe I was truly desperate.
"Come on! It's obviously dead" she teased then rolled her eyes. "Jeez! You have no humour" she added then went back to her seat.
 " For what it was worth, you sure have a reasonable length" she commented.
 After what just happened, could I get anymore embarrassed? How could someone whose profession is to help people pull away from trauma and traumatic situation utter such words that can victimize even a grown up like me?