Dysfunctional - Episode 9

 

Sommy's POV

"Let's talk about your siblings" I requested, "Where should I start from?" He asked with a big smile. "Okay were five In number, mark, Mary, James, Joseph and I" "The perfect disciple of Christ, your name should be Matthew then" I joked and I saw him chuckle. He' has been doing that a lot . He was finally warming up to me.
"That sounds like you just lost the bet"
"That's sarcasm not an insult" I replied giggling. "What were your best moments with them?"
 "Why are we doing this?" 
'Cause if you can find a happy moment and forgive yourself for not being a man, Lazarus may rise again' I thought to myself, Lazarus was my secret nickname for his p*nis. In reality, I couldn't say it loud; that would mean losing the bet and the car. 
 "Cause if you can find that happy place" I paused, "You might get well" I added.
 "Mark, my elder brother..he would always make me laugh with his stupid rantings. They don't make sense because he's an imbecile but there were times we would laugh at his silly jokes. I was ten and too mature for my age so I obviously knew they were silly" he explained. 
The way he talked about his siblings

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/dysfunctional

. He had that sparkle in his eyes. It was sweet and I really admired it.
"There was this day" he paused, "My ninth birthday, there was nothing at home, I mean nothing, not even rice. We had to eat from the left over from the previous day. We had no hope but that evening was one of the best evening of my life." He paused chuckling. 
"Dad came home that evening with...guess what" he asked and I shrugged, quite curious. "He came home with a white chicken, really big and he bought rice. We cooked late and ate late but we were really, really happy with him around. He was my hero." he scoffed. "His death must have crushed your spirit"
"It did but I guess I'm over it"
"Are you sure?" I asked, "Deny that you don't cry over it at night before you sleep"
"I don't deny it" he replied and I laughed. Suddenly I remembered the search for his siblings
"How's the search going?" I asked, "Still slow. My elder brother is still in jail" "I'm sorry" i apologized and he grinned.  "I have a lawyer working his ass In Uyo to have him released in no time."
"I've heard a lot about Uyo" I told him, yes I have but I've never been there. I just never had good enough reasons to go.
"Have you ever been there?" He asked and I shook my head. "I don't have any family members there but I plan on spending one of my vacation there. That's if I ever take a vacation. I would love to taste their food"
"Okay" he replied with a smile. "Why are you smiling?" I asked, "The last time I checked, smiling is not a crime. You never had one?" He asked and I shook my head. 
"One day I will"
"You're an ibo girl"
"Don't sound so racy Bosco, I entertain all kinds of African meals except dog meat" I joked and he laughed. He knew I was making an inference to the popular saying that all ibibio men eat dog meat.
"I know I'm funny" I added and he scoffed, "Not all ibibio eat dog meat that's like a bias conclusion"
"I've you ever eaten it?"
"I have...once or twice"
"I can't believe your girlfriend have to kiss those lips. I feel bad for her" I teased and he continued laughing. 
"That was twenty five years ago and I ate it in a friend's house. It was a mistake" he replied and I just simply stared at him in disgust. 
"I would love to eat afang soup. I've heard about it." "Why haven't you tried it in any local restaurant"
"So I would sleep and wake up in a toilet, sorry but I would pass on that offer"
"I know of this place. That's where I get mine. She has magic hands, she's good. Would you like to come along?"
"Sure" i answered after several thought. "If I end up in the toilet before the day runs out, I'll.." I paused and I saw him give me that victory smile.
"I'll.... regret going" I added and he chuckled. "Nice safe but I promise it would be worth it"

We both entered into the car that would soon to be mine. Four days to go, I consoled myself. While Bosco drove, I felt something spill down on to my underwear. I knew i wasn't ovulating, it had to be my period.
 "Oh sh*t!" I muttered, my eyes shut in embarrassment. How could I have missed it? The symptoms we're all there! My reason for being so emotional finally made sense.
 I quickly tried to remember the kind of underwear i wore. It was a black lacy underwear on my carton color chinos trousers. It wouldn't hold sh*t!
"What?" He asked me, "Can you do me a favor and just ....." I trailed off, it would have been easier if I was at work. "Of all days damn it! Of all days, you chose today and a very bad timing at that" I lamented. He was so clueless, he still wanted to know what I meant by it. 
"You're so clueless! My period, it came today" I answered and he pulled up by the road side. I could see the horror on his face.
"Aren't you a grown up? Come on, you're supposed to know these things"
"I didn't think it would come"
"Are you sure you're a woman?" He asked, "At least I'm..." I trailed off. "Just help me check if my trousers has stained" I asked, then i turned backwards, raised my buttocks up. 
"Urgh!" I heard him grunt. "I didn't have to see that" he answered. "Gosh it must already be on my car seat."
I didn't need to be told what to do. "Can you take me to my house?" I requested and he agreed. 
Suddenly I got a call from Filda to remind me of a meeting by three. "Filda I have an emergency" I replied then put the call on loud speaker.
"You've cancelled on Alhaji twice. Remember he threatened to sue you the last time he came. He has paid already for the therapy Ma, do your best to be present. Do I have to remind you everytime?"
"Don't use that tone on me Filda. I pay you to remind me" "There's no way I'm calling Alhaji to cancel. I'd rather hand in my resignation"
"Filda I have an emergency; I have a monthly visitor." "Oh" she paused. 
"It's so bad"
" Do you need me to remind you of that also?" She teased and I laughed sarcastically. "Very funny Filda, very funny" I answered and she hung up. 
I saw Bosco laugh "I love that girl" he replied and I rolled my eyes. "What would you do now? Going home sounds like mission impossible"
"I know... I have to get a place to change but first someone has to get me pads"
"Who will?" He asked, "Who else? You of course"
"Sorry wrong person"
"Come on, please I need your help. If you didn't bring me out, I wouldn't have been in this mess. I would have been in the office."
"How will I get it? How would people view me? John Bosco Bishop, getting pad at a mall"
I need help and here he is worrying about what people would think about him. Stop being so over-conscious and just get me the damn pad!!!
 I wished I could say all these, but rather I begged him, "Please?".

Bosco's POV

After several plea from Dr. Sommy, I decided to help her out. She had a point though even though I try not to admit it was my fault.
I drove over to a small supermarket where I knew I wouldn't bump into anyone.
I went in looking at the sales girl who was busy chewing gum.  
"Good afternoon Sir" she greeted.
I walked around the shop trying to picture how the pad would look like. She told me her preference was Dr. Brown sanitary pad. I returned back to the sales girl at the counter.
"What are you looking for Sir?" She asked still chewing her gum. "I need pad"
"Pad? Game pad?"
"Nope"
"Which kain pad Sir?" She asked and I cleared my throat. I almost died of shame when I said the word.
"Women's sanitary pad, preferably Dr. Brown" I requested looking away. I didn't want to see her look.
She told me there was no Dr. Brown so I had to take another brand.
I entered into the car then handed it over to her. "They didn't have the one you wanted" I explained then I drove over to the boutique where Isabel shops so I could get her a change of clothes.
I walked in alone, since the manager was a friend, I  had a discussion or call it agreeme nt with her and  she sent an attendant outside to give Dr. Sommy a piece of clothing to tie over her trousers to conceal her stain while she walked into the boutique.
 "I heard about your emergency" she said to Dr. Sommy. "I've done all the best I could, I had to leave the rest for Debby to do. I saw them discussing and laughing then they walked away.
 I waited five minutes a?but nothing happened, she wasn't out yet. So I had to go to the nearest restaurant to get snacks for the both of us. Quite frankly, I was already hungry. 
By the time i came back, she still wasn't done with what she was doing. I wondered if she was giving birth. She was supposed to take her bath and then come out to meet me. 
I couldn't wait for her any longer so I picked up a hamburger I bought and I took a big bite out of it. 
I saw her come out that moment with Debby. She had a peach colored gown on, that was my first time seeing her on a gown since she frequently wore trousers. Okay fine, I've only known her for four days, but it's only fair to conclude she doesn't like gowns.
 "What?" She asked and I pointed at the gown.
"I've never seen you on gown"
"How long have you known me?" She asked chuckling. "I wear gowns too, I just don't like the feel. They're like..." She paused trying to find a comparison for it. "Princess materials, I don't buy boutique stuff, I'd rather go to the market on market days so I can get some cheap okirika clothes" she paused then turned to Debby. 
"No offense" she added and Debby chuckled. "None taken dear. I did a little okirika shopping back in the days"
I was beginning to wonder what okirika meant. "What's okirika?" I asked, "It's second handed clothing" "So you're happy wearing clothes already worn by others" "Yes" she replied. 
"Did I mention they're cheap too?"
I shook my head, then I saw her walk over to another gown. "Oh my God, this one is really pretty" she commented then looked at the price tag.

Read " Palm lines " by the same author ( Essien Eno )

. "Jesus! This is one cloth oh" she complained and Debby laughed.
 I told her she could have it but she rejected my offer. "I would soon have your car in fo ur days, it won't be fair to collect this. So how much does this gown i wore cost?" She asked and I almost choked on my hamburger. Why was she asking?
She still stared dreamily at the cloth. I saw her whisper to Debby, "Can I get a discount?" She asked and I requested Debby leave us alone. "I bought you a hamburger since we won't be able to make it to lunch."
"Ah I see, and as a gentleman, you had to eat it before me"
"I waited for you" I added and she raised her brow at me then we busted into laughter. "Okay fine I was really hungry" I confessed and she sat close to me picking up her hamburger with a serviette then she took a bite. "You took so long, were you giving birth"
"I was bathing. Besides, Debbie and I were having a chat"
"Thanks" she added. "For helping me out with the pad and this" she continued and I nod with a smile. Even without winning the bet, I felt like a king already. 
"Raincheck on the Afang soup?" I asked and I saw her smile. 
"Sure"