Attitude meets Arrogance - Episode 56

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Ciara's POV
"Not now Jordan...." I groaned and walked past him....

"How is your injury now??? I saw you hugging him..."

I halted the moment I heard those words...

"He was just been there for me as a friend."

"The project we doing with the minister will be over in eight months after that I will give you a divorce. I can no longer force things..."

For the first time, he didn't shake or yell at me . He spoke very calmly..

Be happy Ciara, in eight months you will be free. Jump up and down in excitement girlfriend...

Why was I sad??? I felt sadness weighing me down. It was what I always wanted but then it felt like it wasn't what I needed...

Come think of it, I am the one who should give him the divorce not the other way round. He ruined my life, I actually did him a favour...

"I guess since we been honest, I will be too...I am mad at you because if you didn't force me to this maybe my dad would have forgiven me, Jaxon would be mine. But i am the unlucky girl who doesn't get what she wants in life..." I stuttered and he said nothing...

He just stood from the bed and walked to where I was...

"It's a high time you understand this Ciara, your dad was mad with you even before we met. If Jaxon loved you as much as you claim he did he would have fought so hard for you

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. I know I made a mistake forcing you to marry me and I have realised today I can't do this anymore. I give up Ciara..."

I swallowed down hard the now developed lump of tears in my throat..

He was right, I was angry with myself and wanted to vent it on him because I always thought he was the reason to all my problems..

My anger towards him was to protect the pain I was feeling. He was the easy prey on my list..

I turned around to face him, "I have always been mad because I felt this marriage was suffocating. I wasn't happy, I never wanted to get married in my pyjamas, to you and everytime I see Jaxon happy and laughing with Ariana I feel you snatched that from me...Thinking maybe my dad would have been less angry if I didn't get married to you makes me more mad. Today I felt hurt my dad not wanting to talk to me, having to be humiliated because of what people think it was an affair and yet it was two lovers out for a getaway. Do you think it was fair???" I stuttered and he looked hurt..

His eyes were glimmering with watery eyes...

"All I know is that I fell in love with you and all this while I have been denying it. Maybe I wasn't meant to be loved. Beatrice now you...I won't force it anymore, I won't ban you from talking to Jaxon because I am the one in the wrong place..." I regretted being mad at him as soon as those words leapt from his lips..

"Here," He took my hand and placed it on his fast beating heart, "I have never felt what I feel for you but today I promise you that I will never act like your husband again. What I ask for you is just continue acting like we are in love for these eight months and then after that I will set you free and give you five million dollars to start a new life...Love is not a business deal, you made me realise that life is more than sadness and bitterness..." He seemed to be one blow away from breaking...

"Jor....." He placed his finger on my lips cutting me off, "You don't have to explain anything. I know you don't love me and this relationship is suffocating. How do you think I felt, you sharing your pain with him and not me. I was hurt, very hurt. You left me alone by the roadside not caring how I got home..It was my mistake and i am paying for it. I forced you into this, so don't be sorry. Just eight months and it will be over. "

I didn't realise I was crying until he wiped them away with his thumbs, "I am not worth your tears..."

Did he say he loved me but why me???? I didn't deserve all i have always done is piss him off. Maybe it was the best thing to do...I didn't love him but I had a soft spot for him. We needed this break, he needed to forget him. Jaxon was the only one in my heart and that wasn't going to change soon .

But why was I sad??? He is finally letting me go.
Do I want to go??? I can finally fight for the love I feel for Jaxon but is it worth it???

"If this is what you want Jordan then it is fine by me..."

I didn't deserve love too. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy either.

But it hurts so much that it's finally over. Sadness overpowered every other feeling. It didn't feel if that was what I wanted anymore.

Who was i going to tease, argue with??? Is it for the best???

"Okay..." He kissed me on the forehead and left the room. The moment he slammed the door on his way out, I  felt lonely and abandoned.

It was like a part of me was missing. Did I make the right choice by agreeing to this madness???Was I wrong to be mad????

I sat by the bed and pulled my legs to my chest and held them so tight...

I sobbed and tears flooded like the waters rushing down  from a waterfall and the only time I stopped was to fill the lungs with fresh air...

It's over Ciara, you are finally free but not happy...

Jordan's POV
In the office I tried to focus but I couldn't. It was finally over..

Only love can wound so deep, cut to the very core..
I really felt raw like there was no skin over my pain and the wind made it bleed..

How was I going to do it??? It was easier said than done. I have learnt to love her so much and without her the world is just a dark globe rotating...

It is said if you love someone, you will do what always make them happy... I was suffocating her and what would make her happy is her so far from me...

Only eight months Jordan, she will be beside you...After that, you will go back to been the lonely broken man...

Why do everyone I love leave??? Am I so horrible??? I took out my phone and scrolled down her photos on IG, it made me feel better seeing her even thou she was out of my reach...

I can do this, it's not so hard to act like you are not in love. I will just avoid her and that's it.

I made a mistake confessing how I felt but atleast I am relieved I don't have to lie to myself anymore....

For me to be okay when she leaves after eight months, I have to learn to hate her so that she can pull away from me...

Jaxon's POV
I know it was wrong for me to call her but I can't help it.

I am empty, lonely if only I was strong enough to fight for her then things would have been different...

She was right, if I loved her as much as I claimed I did I would have fought for her.. Regrets washed over  me like the long slow waves on a shallow beach...

Seeing her in pain and misery made me realise I drove her there. Why did I not stop my brother???
I am not close to the one I love.

Read " Binded by friendship " by the same author ( Fideh Mwangi )

. She got away and I have no one to blame for that apart from myself...

I walked towards Ariana's room and knocked with the hope she was still awake. I needed company, comfort, a hug, soothing words say them all...

"Jaxon???" She yawned, "What are you doing here???"

"Can I come in please???"

"Yes sure...."

The moment she locked the door, I turned to her and hugged her so tight.

"I am crumbling down...." I stuttered...

"What did Ciara do now????" She asked with utmost confident.

"How did you know it was her???" I pulled back, squeezing the tears from my eyes...

"Because she is the only one who gets to you.So what's up????"

"Today she came home injured and it was because of me. They were arguing about me and got into an accident...Why am I always causing her pain??? I didn't fight for her when she means the world to me. This marriage is misery to her and it's my fault..." I cried out in violence more than gale...

"Ssssh!!!!" She cupped my face, "Sh*t happened and all you can do is make things better for her. Stop coming between her and Jordan. She is a married woman and the best thing you can do is move away. As long as you are there, she will never move on too..."

"But I wish you saw the pain in her eyes, how sad she looked??? The vibrant Ciara was no more and that hurts me. I want my Ciara to be Ciara again Ariana. Even if I can't have her, I want her to be fine..." Tears dripped from my eyes....

"Then walk away Jaxon, let her also move on with Jordan. Or wait for her until she gets divorced...."

"Thank you Ariana...It felt really great talking to you...Let me go to my room now..." I beamed and she nodded.

I was glad I had someone in the house who understood what I was going through...
I moved closer to kiss her on the cheek when our lips rubbed and for a second we looked deep into each other's eyes...

"I am sorry...." I said almost in a whisper...

"Its okay Jaxon, as long as you didn't kiss me. We are good..." She poked my arm..

"Okay..." I chuckled and left...
There was something different with her, I can't really explain what it is...

A/N Read, share, comment and click the thumb below...Thank you...

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  • Views (25178)
  • Likes (25)
  • Comments (10)
  • Rating (4)
  • Adeoti Akindele picture
    Adeoti Akindele
    This is really getting intense and serious o don't even know who to Side again. Welcome Fideh
  • Vivian Chime picture
    Vivian Chime
    Really getting more interesting.... Hmm Welcome back Fideh and nice one here
  • Shirley Demi picture
  • Amma picture
    Amma
    sorry Jordan...love can really hurt u know..
  • Ukbaby picture
    Ukbaby
    So sad
  • Johnny Tall picture
  • joan kk picture
    joan kk
    Jaxon ,you dont know what you wants,so let Ciara be
  • Pamela cube picture
    Pamela cube
    He confessed his feelings finally.
  • Michael winful picture
    Michael winful
    This is love with intensity and it feels very real as an story, well done & with thanks for a nice job well done.
  • Alexander Alexandra picture
    Alexander Alexandra
    Ciara gets sad about the divorce in eight months time because she is already growing a soft spot for Jordan. Just tell him ciara, stop fooling around. And that advice Ariana gave to jaxon was better. He should move away
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