A woman's dilemma - Episode 43

 

Francesca:

"It's weird that my mind still believes that I'm twenty while my body and appearance tells a different story." It's been a few days since I opened my eyes without any knowledge of who I am supposed to be. I stare expectantly at Simi as she helps me stir the custard in front of me. My hands are still too shaky to hold a spoon . I was in a fire accident? How? And a freaking coma?! For eight whole months! It feels longer. I don't remember much from my first year in the University. How did I end up here.
"I really don't know about that. You see Gideon is the one who__"
"Gideon." I try his name on my lips. Not for the first time. It sounds familiar. So is the butterflies I get anytime he's near. And he is always close by.
"Yeah. Do you really not remember a thing?" She abandons her task with the custard and comes to sit on the bed beside me. I shake my head slowly.
"I keep drawing blanks when I try to think. This is so frustrating! I mean I wake up to find burn scars lining my arms and shoulders but with no idea how I got them. Do you know anything. Anything at all."
"The only thing I know is Gideon brought you here almost eight months ago. Everyone in this town were equally surprised at first."
"Surprised?" 
"You see, Gideon left nearly a decade ago and suddenly he showed up with an unconscious woman and a plan to set up a clinic

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. I was surprised myself when he called me from my job in Port Harcourt to come help with this." She explains and I nod, a tad bit disappointed but still very much curious about Gideon. The way he looks at me, it gives me butterflies. I feel like I'm supposed to reciprocate the feelings I see in his eyes and actions.
"You know what? I have an idea!" Simi suddenly breaks my thoughts with a clap of her hands. I turn to face her. She's smiling.
"The clothes you had on when he brought you in. Everything on you that day. I kept them. Maybe showing them to you will jog up your memory." She sounds excited and I can't help but tap into her energy.
"You think so?"
"We can't know if we don't try." She says but her face falls for a second.
"What?"
"I don't know if Gideon would want me to show them to you." She says tentatively.
"Why wouldn't he? Is there something he's hiding?" Why am I suspecting someone who's done too much for me.
"What?! No. That is not it. He's been watching your still body for months. Every day I catch him talking to you when he thinks no one is watching. He doesn't want to lose you. Again."
"Lose me?"
"He's trying to protect you. One of the causes of disassociative amnesia​ is emotional trauma. Your brain buries the memories because it's too painful for you to handle." She explains.
"I need to know who I am. I can't take this feeling of edginess and uncertainty. Do you know how it feels Simi? It's like a big hole up here." I point to my head and she sighs.
"Fine. I'll get it." She  hesitates on the bed for a few seconds and I give her my most pitiful look. She groans playfully then walks to the far edge of the room. She pulls a drawer out and after some fiddling, she opens a box she pulls out.
"I don't know if I should__"
"Please." If I could make use of my legs, I'll jump her right now. I'm dying of curiosity.
"Fine." She comes back to the bed and drops the box beside me. I eye the box then her face. Why is my hands shaking more than usual? I'm nervous and I don't even know what that holds.
"Open_ open it." I stammer. She nods then pulls open the wooden box. I don't know what I'm expecting to find in it but the beautiful folded dress isn't it. I pull it out of the box and feel the material. It's obvious that it's expensive. I'm enough of a fashion freak to know that. I unfold the dress and frown. Is this mine?
"It looks big." I say like Simi doesn't see it.
"I guess you lost some weight after the operation." She says.
"Operation?" I study the dress for any clue as to what happened the last time I wore it but then I notice the stain on the hem.
"What's this?" Simi's face clouds over but she clamps her mouth shut.
"What are you guys not telling me?!" My voice is rising but I can't stop myself.
"Calm down Frances."
"Spill."
"Gideon doesn't__"
"This is about me for Christ sake! They are my memory. It's my life! I deserve to know how I entered a coma."
"Ectopic pregnancy." Simi's voice is quiet through my rambling and I have to stop because I don't understand what she's saying.
"According to Gideon, when he got to you, you were bleeding out inside the burning house. You were pregnant but the foetus wasn't in your womb. It was in your fallopian tube. It ruptured, you probably lost consciousness."
"Oh my God." A sob leaves my throat at her words.
"I was pregnant? For who? Gideon?"
"I really don't know. He has been tight lipped about it all but the way he talks about you, the way he touches you, I don't think you both had any ordinary relationship."
"I lost his baby. Our baby." I cry out. Is that the reason why for no reason I feel like I lost something. Someone.
"Shhhh. Don't cry. You're stressing yourself out." Simi pulls me into her arms and pat my back soothingly. I let the tears fall freely though. What really happened to me. I want my memories back. All of it! I don't even know what I'm suppose to be feeling. I clench the dress in my fist and when I feel something solid, I pull away from Simi.
"What? Feeling dizzy?" She starts to panic but I shake my head at her.
"There's something__" I straighten the dress. There's a pocket. I push my hand into the pocket and touch cold metal. It's small.
"What's__ A ring." Simi says as I pull the diamond ring out from the dress. It's obviously an engagement ring. Both Simi and I look at each other at the same time and gasp.
"Married?!"
"Engagement?!" She screams and I frown at the ring.
"I would definitely know if my brother got married." She tells me.
"Engaged then?" I ask with a shaky voice.
"Was that why he's been so distraught over you?" She asks me and I shake my head.
"I don't know." I don't know a thing. Were we engaged? Was it because of the baby? Now that I lost it, does he still want to marry me?
"Frances?!" Gideon comes into the room at this moment and the first thing his eyes clock on, is the ring I'm holding up in the air. I think I see his features harden. Was I not supposed to find it?

****
Gideon:

 Frances and I stare at each other for God knows how long without saying a thing. I don't even know what to say? Is her memory back? Does she know that she's married. To someone else?
"I'll leave you two alone. It seems like you have a lot to talk about." Simi breaks the silence as she quickly walk towards me. She gives me a weird look before she is out of sight. I let my eyes wander back to Frances. She's staring at me weirdly.
"Say something." I manage to get out.
"Do you still want to get married to me?" What?!
"What?!" I sputter at the absurd words she is spewing.
"I found the ring. I know I lost our baby too. Why didn't you tell me? You don't want to get married now that I lost it, is that why you didn't tell me?" She looks down at her hands and I swear to God, the room just spins around me.
"What are you talking about? Our baby?" I get closer to her because I can't help the pull between us and with my index finger, I pull her face up to look into her eyes.
"You don't need to play ignorant. I saw the dress stained with blood. And this ring. You gave it to me right? We are engaged." My brain connects the assumption she's come up with and I pause.
"Well? It's from you right? Or is it from someone else? I'm engaged to someone else? Will he come to get me?" This question jerks my tongue into movement.
"No!" Frances jumps back a bit from the shock and I have to soften my voice.
"No one is coming to get you." I brush her wet cheeks slowly and smile sadly. The image of her bleeding on the floor while her house comes down in flames is still burned to my memory. The worst part is the sight of her husband's back as he walks away, leaving his wife moaning on the floor. All the horrible things that were said while I listened to the call Frances and I were on before she was cut off.

Read " Set me free " by the same author ( Ameh juliet )

. She was clearly begging for her life from her husband. The animal. My breath starts coming out in harsh pants at the memory.
"Gideon?" Frances' hand on mine pulls me out of that horrible place in my head.
"No one is coming to get you." I pull her into my chest and hug her fiercely.
"I'm sorry that I forgot you and our baby." She buries her face in my chest, her voice muffled.
"It's going to be okay." That's all I say. I certainly don't correct her misjudgement because I can't stand worrying about her anymore. She's still married to that monster but he already thinks she's dead. Her burial was even on the news months ago. Everyone has moved on. Keeping this part of her life from her should protect her. Even just for a while. Till I know she's strong enough to deal with it. For the mean time, I revel in the feel of her in my arms.