The Odds Are Against Me - Episode 22

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Hello, Ebonites,

Happy birthday to ME.

 

***

The light was switched on, and standing in the sitting room, was Funmi. She looked more beautiful than the last time I saw her. We made a video call while she was in London, but she wasn't as a beautiful as I was seeing.

"Oh my God", I screamed, with my hands covering my mouth. I looked at Bola, to notice her reaction, but she was just looking . She concentrated on the toy on her hand, and she barely saw through the table. Anderson struggled to come down from the chair, he sat on. I shifted the chair after he had come down, for him to pass through.

"Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!!", he yelled, and Funmi was already close. She bent down and lifted him up, and they moved to the dining table.

"Oh, what's happening here? I met everyone at the right time", Funmi said.

"Oh, they all planned these for your welcome", I said.

"I thought you planned it all?", she asked rhetorically.

"Did you tell me you were coming back today?", I queried and gestured my hands in air. She turned to Bella.

"Err, I told you not to tell your husband last time you called

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. I guess you did as I told you. We planned to surprise him and also celebrate your achievement. Those feats aren't easy", Bella said.

"You can have a seat, let's eat and have a toast to a great life achievement", Sheila said. I adjusted Anderson's chair, for her to enter. She placed him on the chair, leaned close to Bola, and tapped her cheeks. I sat down and Bella did too. My gateman had arranged her luggage at the side of the sitting room and left. We ate and toasted to a great life. In between our chatters, Bisi was awake and came to the sitting room. Immediately she saw Funmi, she exclaimed exuberantly.

"Hey!!! Welcome Madam", she said and came to the side Funmi sat on. Funmi tapped her, and asked how she was doing.

Read " A Tale of Five Bandits " by the same author ( Obinna Tony )

. She took Funmi's luggage into the room and we continued our celebration.

*****************************************
At 10:30PM, everyone, all Funmi's friends had gone to their houses and everyone had gone to sleep. I had finished working on my laptop, while I entered the sitting room and met Funmi sitting on the sofa.

"Hey, dear, let's go in", I said.

"Err, allow me to enjoy myself. It's been long I sat down and actually watched a Nigerian television", she said.

"Really", I said, moved closer and dragged her up. I switched off the television and all the sitting room lights and we entered inside.

"It's been long I felt your manliness", Funmi said and pushed me to the bed.

"Oh really?", I said, immediately my back laid flat on the bed.

"Yes", she said, and placed a finger on my lips as she climbed on me. I pushed her off, and she fell on the bed, and I climbed on her and plastered a kiss.

"Oh dear wife, I missed your heavenly body", I said.

"Oh, please", she said and freed herself from my confinement. She quickly made to the mirror and started pulling off her dresses and accessories. I was only on a brief, sitting on the bed.

"Tell me about London and all the places you went to", I said.

"You really don't want to hear, it's an avalanche of adventures", she said, facing me whilst holding her ear to pull off an earring.

"Oh really?", I want to here.

"Well, all I have to say is that I went to different places and the biggest news that is worth sharing was that before my flight took off, at the airport, I got a mail from my company, that I had been promoted as an acting MD that will major in the company graduates training", she said.

"That calls for a celebration" I said and jumped on the bed. She had finished putting off her attires, as I grabbed her to the bed and we had sex. 
The following morning, I handed a poetry I wrote for her. She opened the paper and read it loud;

Through An Eye Of A Lady


I was stuck in the traffic,

Which is one of the Lagos numerous afflictions,

Cars were arranged straight in a gridlock,

A place where ladies are ascribed as uncouth by men releasing their vituperations,

He went like this;

What's your ability? I said, Boy, I'm no liability.

My face was straight up, and I strutted like a Queen.

I snapped my fingers, batted my eyelids.

He knows I wasn't a ride over.

I work 24/7 to fend for myself, I usually say always.

With my affluence, I can buy your influence, I retorted again.

Boy was awestruck. His utterance of a derogatory word, got him badly struck as my worded venoms hit him so hard,

And left him mind struck.

I'm not regular, I'm out of this world.

I ignited my car ignition, and zoomed off, 

With the highest speed, raising dusts and splattering muds,

In my mind, I could feel his stare, his daze, his confusion.

I emasculated him, he would be thinking,

But,

I only think I placed him in his place,

Who is this woman that can stand up for herself, I think he had thought as he entered his car.

The disgusting patriarchy, which is akin to matriarchy.

Mama calls, asking, "when you are getting married?".

She is Mama, so I didn't bother that much. 

Strangers dares not utter such question because it seems senseless, and I have made them know that.

My pride fills to brim, people always say that behind my back.

I know I'm proud, I planned on changing.

And I am taking my independent girl championing too far,

Far wide,

I know,

I'll get married one day,

A bit of toning down, Is all I need.

Being a Nigerian single girl could be herculean,

I know, 

But, my skin had outgrown the scourge.

Stems from irritating poke nosing,

From all ye irritants.

Like the saying goes, the strongest adapts to the environment,

I know I'm a strong woman,

Finally I conquered,

And found the love of my life.

****

After she was done reading it, she looked into my eyes and blurted, "do you know that this poem describes me aptly till I found youyou?".

"I never knew, I guessed", I muttered. She hugged me, before I got ready and left for work.

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