Pierced Rose - Episode 23

 

The atmosphere in the room was icy.. No fire or sparks... Although the sun rays shone beautifully into the room it still looked grey..

Reginah woke up and they were still further apart. The distance between them was big enough to park a car...

Brad seemed to be deep in slumber only that the duvet was slightly below his waist showing a bit of his boxer..

Reginah wondered when he had undressed since the last time she saw him get into bed, he had a shirt and jeans on...Or does he sleep strip???

Shrugging, she walked towards the direction Brad was facing to draw out the curtains when her eyes got stuck on him.

He slept like a baby..She found herself admiring his face, it was like staring at a handsome guy from a magazine..

What about his shirtless torso??? Gawking wouldn't describe her state.. She was wonder struck, flabbergasted, stunned by his physique...

It was silly she had never paid so much attention at him before. Maybe she did but now it felt different.. it was like  she had seen him from the first time..

He had a chiseled chest and his skin was glowing under the sun rays that shone on him. His abdominals were sculptured to perfection as his six packs popped... It was like he came out from a Calvin Klein shoot...

Reginah's hands were itchy to touch him, caress him but she chose to let the sleeping dogs lie... 

Carefully covering him, she went to the bathroom brushed her teeth and tiptoed to the kitchen to make breakfast..

The living room was all messed up and beer cans were all over the carpeted floor..
When did Brad drink??? Nowanda he was still asleep..

Reginah cleaned the living room with no complains but with a heart heavy with guilt..
She knew she was the reason he got drunk and no matter how many times she tried consoling herself,she felt worse...

Reginah was busy with the batter when Brad walked into the kitchen humming..

"Good morning Brad??"
Brad gave her a cold shoulder and begun humming louder that it was irritating to her ears..

"Brad good morning???"
No response, still angry alert...

"Brad, are you okay???" Reginah walked towards him.
He continued making cornflakes acting like there was a fortress wall between him and Reginah...

"Brad, you don't need to eat that. I am making pancakes..."
"I don't feel like having pancakes..."

"Brad, are you mad at me????" Reginah held both sides of his face and turned him to face her.
"No..."

"Then why are you acting up like this???"
"Nothing.." He dropped her hands off his face and begun walking..

"So is this your definition of you love me??? You being cold and acting up all childish.." 
Those words made him stand at the doorway of the kitchen.

"Reginah you don't love me, you don't even know what you feel... Trust me I have never felt what I feel for you. A thought of the fact that you can't be mine makes me go crazy..I wanna protect myself, I am way too attached to you and I don't know what would happen if you rejected me..I will have to keep my distance, I don't have the strength to mend a broken heart, I would die.." Brad voice croaked as he spoke...

Reginah stared motionlessly at his back.
"Reginah do you love me?? Wait do you even like me????" Brad turned around to face her and she only blinked as his words stuck her...

For seconds, there was pin drop silence... Reginah's mouth was dry, she tried talking but couldn't...
"You see, you can't even answer me..." His voice shattered as he hurriedly walked out of the kitchen...

The next minute, there was a bang on the door.. He left..She didn't go after him like Brad had hoped, she just stood there...

To be around Brad was like finally not being alone..it always felt like since Jayson left she had been isolated in a windowless and doorless room until she met him.

But why couldn't she reply a simple question????
She begun cooking pancakes still interrogating herself..

Yeah, her problem was fear... She was scared of loving again. She was scared of being dumped again.. All the men who she knew from her past are not people to look up to.

There was something about Brad, he was thoughtful, caring, loving, sweet and made her feel safe but her love for him was been sandwiched between her fears...

Her heart wasn't ready to beat fast at the sight of another man after what Jayson did..

Jayson was charming and smart. He didn't give a damn about how people wanted him to live, he was a free bird.. Every time Reginah looked into his eyes they were always night, deep and mysterious..

His voice was that of any rich boy, honeyed and proud. Every word he said was like sweet melody to her ears..
He had a well toned muscular body that fired envy of many younger men his age...

At sixteen he knew how to ride a bike like a pro. He crushed the shyness in her and gave her confidence through making her a pro rider like him. They were invisible, they were unbeatable... Everyone was scared to compete with them. They were each other's side of the soul, they rode their bikes as one. Same moves, tricks just same everything....

He taught her to live like a free bird and not to focus her life on pain. He was her first... Her first kiss, her first touch and her first boyfriend...

Their first kiss was in the men's washroom, the location was smelly and disgusting but Reginah took a whole two weeks to return to her normal self. It's never easy for a girl to forget her first kiss..

He was older than her with three years and didn't wanna make her grow so fast that's why they never had s-x. He always ranted about there was still time for s-x crap... He was homeschooled where as Reginah studied in a small public school on the other side of town..

Everytime she saw him, she always shrieked with happiness. Many of the times, her mother would scold her or even beat her for getting home late but it was always worth it.. For Jayson, she would have jumped infront of the train without second thoughts... He never left her mind, he was always there mentally if not then physically.

She loved stealing his black leather jackets which he loved pairing with some skinny jeans, white V-neck shirt and desert boots.. He was in high school but dressed like a bad boy campus nigga. A swag that spiced his charm.

Many girls admired him, yearned for him but his eyes were only for his Renah...She was his Juliet and he was her Romeo... Peter tried to woe Reginah many times but her heart only beat for Jayson... The bad boy who could ride...

For the three years they had dated, Reginah had gone to her first date, slept over in a guy's place, gone for numerous night rides and had her first kiss...At sixteen she had lived the dream of a normal teenage girl...

At sixteen, she had known at what age she would get  married to him, the number of kids they would have, the place they would have their first s-x encounter when she turned eighteen... They had it all planned... He had turned from the knight who would protect her chocolates from Mikey the thief to a prince charming who stole her heart...

He taught her how to love and what it felt to be loved.. Her days were always dull without him and the sun always seemed to shine brighter when he was around... His smile always carried her pain away... One thing was for sure without Jayson, Reginah was a vacant lifeless tube..

The good memories with Jayson made a gentle smile grace her lips until she went through the torture of his departure again..She felt the emotions she had been trying to hid were dug up weighing her heart down once more...

It felt like she was re-living the moment once more... The day was vivid in her mind, she waited for Jayson to come pick her up from school as usual with his bike but hours passed and he never arrived.

She walked in the rain towards their house only to be slapped on the face with a sign board that stated it was on sale.. She screamed his name while running around the house  but nothing.. He was gone and she couldn't accept it...

She sat there on the stairs, shivering  and rubbing her hands with the hope he would show up but he didn't. Everyday for the past one year she would wait for him outside their now sold house and her heart broke more and more...

No letters, no calls and no SMS...He left with no goodbye...Pain always washed her like the long slow waves in a shallow beach but she never stopped hoping he would return...

Her life became dark, the zeal to hope and live like a free bird was no more. She was empty and lifeless. She lived for the sake but had no purpose. She stopped riding bikes since the other side of her soul was missing..Her lover, her life had departed with no good bye and all she did was wait for him...

Reginah was drawn back to reality by a burning smell of the pancake that had now filled the room. It was then that she realized her face was wet with tears..

She was scared Brad would also leave her too, she wasn't ready to go through hell for the sake of love again... She wasn't  sure she could survive it the second time... All men in her life always left her and Brad didn't seem exceptional...

He wasn't the fire yet he brought the warmth that felt new to her but she wasn't strong enough to take the risk...