Love in devilish places - Episode 8
The bells to Snack & Dine dinged, leaving open mouths in their wake the moment the four classic chicks arrived. Tania and her girls were few of the crazy cravers of S&D Creamy package making it their number one gist buddy.
Having heard the news overnight, an emergency meeting was called to discuss Tania's hookup predicament before attending a wedding reception.
"You're kidding me right? You got hooked up with a hot guy and you're seeking our approval to go ahead." Cassy munched a brownie noisily.
"Yo what's up with that? I think it's cool." Sophia added.
"Cool? You think it's cool? It's evil, unheard of, totally unspeakable. How dare you support such nonsense." Debby clicked her tongue . "Tan this is outrageous and I totally say no to this."
"Excuse me and what do you think she should do? Her career is on the line here?" Sophia fired back.
"Yes Debby, you answer?"
"Whatever!" She dug into her brownies, muttering incentives.
"Tania, Tan..." Sophia tugged her sleeve.
"Yes...yes, and then what happened?" She looked up from her napkin.
Sophia paused from her cookie, "Nothing happened."
"Babe," Cassy's face softened, "you've barely touched your plate. Are you okay?"
She gave a quick smile as she fumbled with her cutlery sending it crashing to the floor.
A waitress was quickly at her side with a new fork, "You can use this...oh my!" she grinned widely at her.
"Chidera," she supplied.
"Thanks Chidera." She collected the cutlery with another smile pasted on her face.
"Oh! Never mind
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. Uhm!...I'll go now." The young girl left their table with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Now where were we?" Debby downed a cup of wine.
Cassy tucked her purse under her arm, "Preparing to attend a wedding reception."
"Shit!" They abandoned the rest of their meals.
"Hello Adebimbe, bawo ni o? So you don't want to call me again bah. You're waiting for my burial abi beko?"
Tania groaned at her mother's accusation. She always had a reason for calling which never ended well. Her mother was the type who ended the call with a number of one prophet or the other. Had it been a better day, she'd have ignored it but how long could she ignore her calls especially after her aunt surprise visit the last time.
"Mum, Ekaso ma. How are you ma?"
"I'm fine o, I'm very fine. Since you decided not to call me, not even to know how your siblings are doing. I'm fine o."
"Maami, but I called you two weeks ago."
"Shengbo. Ah! Adebimbe your child will not treat you this way o. Two weeks ago, am I really the one that gave birth to you?Hmmm!..ooo...Ehen, Adebimbe. the reason I called you is to know when you'll bring my inlaw home. See I'm tired of seeing pictures o."
"Ehn! Inlaw? Pictures...which pictures are you talking about?" She scratched her hair nervously.
"Wait let me ask." She overheard her talk to someone before returning to the phone. "Ehen, Maxwell. That fine one, the lawyer one."
"Eh! Egbami. Maami, there is nothing going on between us o... What.."
"Gbenu. See I want to see my inlaw soon o. Adebimbe you must not let this one go o. See, I like this one very well so hold him tight. Because if not... Alhaja Monsurat son is coming for Habiba's Nikkai and I will just ship you to him.
She drummed her fingers on the balcony continuously while thinking of how to strangle Funmi her younger sister. Always the annoying sister who would stop at nothing till she got what she wanted, and, this was all because of the MacBook Pro she refused buying her.
"Maami, please give Funmi the phone." She squeezed the railing tightly till her knuckles ached. "Wahlia, ma kpa é." She ended the call immediately.
The cool afternoon breeze suddenly felt suffocating as she loosened her necktie. No way was she facing him after such a conversation. They were supposed to write down the contracts on which their fake relationship was going to be built. The challenge was now becoming a reality and the last thing she needed was an awkward situation like this.
"I can't do this." She fell into Sophia's waiting arms.
Sophia stroked her hair lovingly as she assured her, "I understand baby, sincerely Love, you might just find yourself with this guy. I understand it's a thirty day challenge and all that but...consider this a thirty day of discovery. Use this to your advantage and who knows? You might just find love."
"And what if I don't? What if this guy is a conniving be..."
"Not another word missy. You'll get down to this date and sort things out with him. You make your rules, object to what you don't want and we can start from there."
"Thanks Sophy. You're the best."
"If I don't take care of you, who will?"
They both laughed as she used a Dettol advert line.
"Let's go kill the lawyer." Sophia screamed dragging her indoors.
"Guys I said no way. Like there's no way I'm going overboard with that bitchy thing."
"Who said anything about going overboard? You're just playing the part right?" Kunle moved a piece on the chess board.
"No he's not." Obiora played his turn. "Actually, Papa Maxwell told him to make the deal click or lose an entitlement to some family stuff like that."
"Oh boy! Pops already love the girl." Kunle clapped mockingly. "Yo! What does mama say?"
"Ikenna better make a baby with this one or attend my funeral." Obiora mimicked as Kunle roared in laughter.
"Shut up man." Max threw a throw pillow at him. "She's still my mom okay."
"Okay...Okay...Let me get things straight." Kunle laughed again. "Okay Max, Popsy sees a potential daughter in-law and momsy just want a grand child. Guy your life is so simple."
"Says the one with two devils." Max upturned the game.
"What's wrong with you man? My kids might be stubborn and all but they are no devils okay." Kunle glared angrily at him.
"Hey hey Kunle calm down, calm down okay. Don't mind this guy. You know his problem ehn. Maxwell you sef get sense na, they're his kids."
"Fine o. I'm sorry for insulting your kids. Don't just bring that up next time."
The trio sat in silence for a while with just jazz music playing in the background. Soon Tuface 'Amaka dissapoint' came up and the noise in the air increased.
"Oshey. Amaka dissapoint o. Nyeneke confusion. Ehhh!" They sang over another bottle of wine, taking turns to act the verses out.
"Tubaba I feel you." Kunle shot in the air after the last words.
"That guy is a legend man." Obiora tuned down the song again.
"Yeah. I wonder how Annie kept up with him, she's a smart one."
"Don't think so." Max objected.
"What's your problem guy? Just because your.."
"Don't dare," He gave Kunle the stink eye.
"Fine. But I think that grand child will soften you." Kunle finished.
"You're right bro. A child will do you good, at least to enjoy your money after we're done."
They roared in laughter again as the clock chimed twelve.
"Time to go guys, I'm having a meeting with her. Don't ask me who?"
"First date." They both high fived while Max wondered how to kick them out.
Fortunately they left after another few rounds of mockery and vilification and he was once again grateful for the respite. He had barely stepped out of the shower when his phone rang, looking through a special tv on his wall he saw she had arrived. He had given his maid instructions to keep her waiting in a bid to tire her out and make her subject to his plan. Thanks to his friends, he had drawn out a contract and was going to see she went through with it.
I was actually laughing when I had this mother-daughter talk in my head. Unfortunately only Nigerians will fully understand the weight of that call.
Bawo ni? - How are you?
Bah - Right?
Abi beko? - Is that not so?
Ekaso - Good afternoon
Maami - Mummy
Shengbo - did you hear?
Egbami - Save me.
Gbenu - Shut up
Wahlia, ma kpa é - I swear, I'll kill you.
You sef get sense - you too be reasonable.
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