Dysfunctional - Episode 37

 

Sommy's POV

I woke up with someone by my side. I didn't feel so lonely any longer. I smiled looking at the time. It was past six already. 
"Hey honey" I said softly, then I tapped him. "Waky waky, it's past six already"
I heard him grunt. "I wish I can just remain here for ever" he said and I laughed. His breath hit me boom! On the face.
"Your breath stinks" I snapped and I heard him scoff . "Likewise yours" he retorted and I laughed. 
"I don't have morning bad breath. Testimonies of guys I've been with but you Mister, your breath smells like fried fart" I compared and he laughed.
"Who fries fart?" He asked and I shrugged. "At least it has to be better than your fart" "You've not smelt much of my fart"
"Twice is enough! I still don't know how I survived it. I count myself as a survivor. Sommy you almost killed me that day"
"Now you're exaggerating, the second one was loud and loud fart doesn't smell, everyone knows that fact but the first fart...it was bad"
"Sweetheart, bad doesn't qualify it..it was like a rat died in a public toilet. It was catastrophic" he added and I opened my mouth in shock

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/dysfunctional

. "Trust me dear, Russian missiles I've got nothing on your fart. I mean your fart is a natural disaster in the making. Don't ever do it a grassland, it can turn a grassland into a desert"
"It's okay" I laughed. "I get it"
"Well you started it first with the bad breath" he answered giving me a victory smile. I had to give it to him. He won but I would be the one having the last laugh.
"I dare you to refuse my bad breathe kiss" he moved his lips close to mine and I welcomed his lips. "Good morning" he muttered and I smiled. "It's past six already, you'll be late for work" "I'll go home, take my bath and then go to work but I feel so lazy. I don't want to leave your side"
"Are you sure about that?" I asked biting on my lower lip and I saw the puzzled look on his face.
I had just farted. "What are you up to?" He asked and I wondered when he was going to smell it.
"Jesus Sommy!" He stood up and I laughed. "Come back to bed baby" I pleaded playfully and he shook his head at me. I saw him bust into laughter.
I knew this was going to be a fun ride for the both of us.
I had Thursday session with Mrs Ajayi who cancelled at the nick of time. She said she was freaking out at a gym. She begged that I meet her.
I saw her gliding on a treadmill she had a earpiece In her ears. I moved to her front then I waved at her.
She stopped Immediately she saw me. Her countenance was down. "If I had peesticks  I wouldn't even say hi to you. Woman, you look so ugly."
She passed an envelope to me and I opened it. She was pregnant.
"This is bad"
"I know!" She answered. "I haven't gone through this since I had junior. Labor pains sucks. Do you know how much Junior weighed at birth?"
"That isn't what I meant. Rita, you've slept with more guys than I can count" 
"It's Taye's child, I'm certain of it. There was this time we went all night, he came in me" "I seriously don't want to know"
"Pregnancy makes me horny all the time and I'm starting to get my life back trying to focus on my husband alone. You think you've seen me cheat, try seeing me when I'm pregnant"
"You're worried about cheating" I smiled. "Rita that's a good thing" I commented. "I've always been worried about cheating that's the essence of having you but I end up doing it anyway. Sometimes i just tell myself, who are you fooling? You want that hot guy, go get him"
"I hope you told that crazy voice that you're better than that"
"I told the voice, yeah you're right. Damn he's a real hottie but he probably has a small banger. Taye is better"
"I'm proud of you Rita" "Don't be until I pass through nine months without cheating"
"What's up with Bosco?" She asked, "Have you two finally..." She stalled and a lady who just passed by looked at her repulsively. "Don't you know you're in a public place?"
"Shu?? Madam, I'm paying and you're paying too so waka well. Abi you no dey do for house?" She asked and the lady left. 
I Iaughed at how funny the scene was. "Instead of people minding their business, their own is to poke their noses in others business. Let her know that she didn't meet me in a good mood, I'm in a very pregnant mood right now."
"Calm down" I begged. "Has he finally do the do?"  She asked and I hesitated. I've never been a kind to kiss and tell.
"OMG! Jesus Sommy! You're officially a sl*t. Do you realize that another girl's man?"
I opened my mouth I shock. Wasn't she the one advising me to screw the fact he had a girlfriend and just f*ck him?
"They broke up before it happened"
"It... Did you two do it? What cause the break up?" 
 "Filda didn't give you the gist did she?" "What gist?"
"Isabel has been cheating on Bosco, she got banged up and she did an ab*rtion. Bosco found out and that was it"
"God is good! How was the s*x?" 
I didn't feel comfortable that she asked that question the same time she said 'God is good'.
"It was..." I didn't want to make him look bad. "He's still recuperating, he's having side effects from his childhood. You of all people should understand"
"It will get better eventually. I'm so happy for you" she answered hugging me. "I'm happy you're finally with a man you love and I love the fact he's rich too"
"I don't care about his wealth"
"Well I do! Perhaps for the first time in a long while, you can get to change your clothes. I've seen you on all of your clothes. There's no cloth I haven't seen you wear."
"Now you're exaggerating. There's this gown I bought in Enugu"
"My point is, you need a wardrobe change and I know you're a planner and you're stingy with spending, but girlfriend, you need new clothes in your life.

Read " The Picnic " by the same author ( Essien Eno )

. Most times I guess the clothes you would wear" she replied then she walked up to me putting her hands in a hole In the chiffon top I wore.
"This tiny hole has been there since I've known you" she pulled get finger out.
"Now it's big" I looked at the expanded hole. 
"I loved this dress" I complained, "Get a new one"

I got to the office, having nothing doing, I went to the white board so I could think. 
I realized I couldn't do this on my own. I needed another psychologist's opinion.
I knocked at Lawrence's office and he asked that I come in.
I walked in taking my seat. "This one that you're here yourself without being summoned, am I safe?" He asked and I shrugged.
"I need an opinion of an expert on a matter"
"Did you just call me an expert?" He asked and I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"
"There's this client I have that has issues of not able to have s*x at all. Now he has finally opened to his girlfriend but there's something holding him back. Some memories he forgot as a kid; when he finally decided to have s*x, something goes wrong. He's starting to have flashes with blurry image. He feels this way whenever he thrusts into her"
"If you ask me, I think your client had a very rough childhood and s*xual too." He added and I nodded. I had the same guess after last night. Perhaps Bosco went through s*xual experiences as a kid. 
"This symptom is common to r*pe victims"
"What do you suggest he does to remember?" "If thrusting into her makes him have flashes. Try advising him to stay longer, or in this case, if you know the girlfriend, advise her to help him stay longer so he can remember."