Dangerously Obsessed - Episode 8

 

Rejection is not a pleasant feeling to experience and it's sad that Jason's was made to feel that way by the person he dearly loved. Thelma felt bad for turning his proposal down but who could blame her; not after all Jason had done in the past. They loved each other dearly but that didn't mean 'forever' was their fate. Jason was greatly disappointed and heartbroken but still didn't want to give up on making Thelma his wife.

"Why don't you want to marry me?" Jason enquired but Thelma remained mute . "Baby I asked you a question, why don't you want to marry me" he repeated and Thelma broke the silence. "Jason I'm scared, and that's enough reason to conclude that marrying you isn't the best decision for me. You are the best and sweetest man I have ever met; like it's crazy knowing that you are one of the best things that ever happened to me but I can't have you. I don't want to live in fear each day for the rest of my life, knowing that my husband is unstable and unpredictable. I love you so much Jason but that's not enough to trade my lifetime happiness and peace" Thelma sadly said.

It took Jason a while to actually realise that he was the one that brought this upon himself. He felt heartbroken the more, knowing that this was how Thelma perceived a lifetime with him; but that didn't stop him either, as he was determined to have her or no one else.

"Thelma, can we see tomorrow and talk properly, there's so much I want to tell you and don't want to say it over the phone" Jason said in a low tone

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. They agreed to meet at his house the next day, so they could talk face to face on the fate of their relationship. "I love you babe, see you tomorrow" Jason said and ended the call.

All through the remaining hours of that day, Thelma couldn't think of anything else other than Jason. She loved him from the depths of her heart and couldn't believe that she actually turned him down; "I just wish we didn't have to go through all this, I wish Jason wasn't this scary and unpredictable person. How can I live the rest of my life in fear of the unknown. I love him so much but I'm scared" she thought to herself all night.

On the other hand, it was a lonely day for Jason. He hugged his pillow all night and felt empty and rejected. There was no doubt that Jason truly loved Thelma with all his heart; the only problem he had was that his excess love for her had turned into obsession.

Jason wanted to see Thelma every minute if possible. He wanted to breathe her air, replace her shadow, always be in her space and never set his eyes away from her. I wonder what manner of love could be this strong that it leaves one miserable without the other. Love has a thousand meaning, but the only interpretation of love in Jason's dictionary was 'Thelma' and spending the rest of his life without her would be miserable for him.

After work the next day, Jason came to pick Thelma up from her office. They first went to the mall to get some groceries before heading to his house. The ride home was an awkward one, and they tried as much as possible to avoid eye contacts.

They arrived Jason's house in no time and headed to the kitchen to drop what they had bought. Thelma tried so hard not to look into his eyes whenever they talked. Jason was nervous of what the outcome of their conversation would be. He silently prayed that things would turn out well.

After they were done offloading the car of what was bought from the mall, Thelma laid down on the parlour couch while Jason prepared dinner. He told her to rest and leave everything to him.

As Thelma laid on the couch, she couldn't help but think about how she was going to tell the man she loved to his face, that she wasn't going to marry him. "What if he gets so mad and hurt me?" She thought, "I really love him, oh God help me" she muttered.

Few minutes later, Jason walked into the parlour with a tray of garnished noddles. Thelma was very hungry because she hadn't eaten since afternoon; she hurriedly grabbed her own plate and started eating. Jason smiled at the sight of Thelma devouring her food, "babe slow down, the food is not running" he said smiling.

Thelma ignored him and continued eating her food. "Chef Jason, I duff cap for the way you cook your noddles, thanks babe" she said as she ate. "That's how I want to cook for you all the days of my life" Jason said. That confession made Thelma feel bad but she didn't want to let it spoil the fun time they were having.

They finally finished eating and Thelma took the plates to the kitchen to wash them. She backed the kitchen door and didn't know that Jason was standing at the door watching her.

After watching for a while, he said "Baby please marry me, I honestly can't imagine my life without you". Thelma turned at the sound of his voice, only to see him standing at the door. "How long have you been standing there?" She asked smiling, "Long enough to know that I can't live without you" he replied and Thelma smiled.

Jason walked closer to her and planted a kiss on her neck. "Please be mine" he passionately said, "Baby I'm scared" Thelma replied and turned to face him. "Why are you scared?" he asked, "you already know so stop asking" she replied. Jason sadly looked Into her eyes and said; "I know I'm a monster who doesn't know how to control his emotions, I know that I have done many fowl things since we started dating, I know I'm not the best of person in terms of character and I know you don't trust me enough to put your lifetime happiness and peace into my hands. But all I want to let you know today's that; everything I have ever done is because I love you even more than I love myself. I care for you more than I care for myself, I want you more than you want me and I can't function properly without you. I know this is not what love is supposed to be like, but it's sad that this is how best I know how to express my love for the person I love. Thelma, I know you deserve better than an overly temperamental man, I know you deserve the beautiful kind of love you watch in movies; I wish I could give you all that you want and in the way you want it, but it's painful that this is how best I can show my love to you. Please don't leave me, if anything, try and help me. I want to be a better man for you and I seriously want to try my best to change. Don't give up on me too soon".

On my! Jason's words touched Thelma's soul and she didn't know when she started tearing up. She never thought that it would be this hard to let go. Thelma felt she was giving up on their love too soon but also felt there was no remedy to Jason's constant outburst. "You know I love you right?" She asked and he nodded 'yes'. "I wonder why something that can kill could feel so sweet and good" she thought to herself.

Thelma was out of the right words to say at that moment so she moved closer and hugged the love of her life. "Please don't leave me, help me to be a better person. I want to change for you" Jason said, "That's the problem babe, you have to decide to want to be a better person for yourself first before thinking of someone else. I want you to change because, you finally came to a realisation that you can be a better person than you are now. I want you to love from a softer and better side and not from an insecure and possessive side. You are a very good man and I would do anything for you, but the only thing I can't do is to help you change; that decision is entirely left to you. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you, of course I would have loved to marry you. I would have loved to marry a Jason who doesn't get too jealous, possessive or violent, but it's sad that you are the opposite of that Jason. There's no need to be scared; that I turned your proposal down doesn't mean I have completely shut you out of my life.

Read " Finding Love " by the same author ( Sonia Okehie )

. Show me you can be a better man, show me that you believe there's more to love and life than been overly possessive and temperamental, show me you want this change for yourself and maybe, just maybe, we might have a shot in the near future. I love you my Jay jay and I believe you can be better" she said with tears in her eyes.

Jason became overly emotional and hugged her tightly with tears dripping down his eyes. "I'll work on myself baby, I truly want to and would seek for help on how to be a better man" he said as he hugged her. They hugged each other tightly and didn't want to let go. "I'll be here as long as you don't give me any reason to walk away" Thelma said sobbing.

It was an emotional evening and the two love birds took a huge step forward to becoming better people. Jason became more friendly with people and started having few friends. He attended anger management classes and read books and articles that could help him.

In no time, Jason became selfless and started seeking for other people's betterment and happiness, other than his. The journey to being a better man wasn't going to be easy but at least he had taken the first step.

Who knows, maybe, just maybe; he would pop the marriage question again in the future and There might just be a Big 'Yes'!'

Change is constant so don't condemn someone that isn't exactly what you have pictured in your mind. People go through things that might have helped shaped their character to what it is today.

It's very easy to hate and condemn someone but why not do the difficult thing of showing love rather. Not everyone is strong like you and me, so always spread love and in doing that, also ensure not to lose yourself in the process.

End of story! 
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