Zakia - Episode 9

 

For two hours or thereabout, silence dominated the room, a quietness so intense that I could almost perceive the rhythm of myself and Iman's heavy breath. I'd since stopped wailing uncontrollably, and the kind of tears I was experiencing at the time, was a mental kind, which was even far worse. The disbelief on Iman's face had yet to fade away completely, and as time went by, I watched his expression slowly, but surely morph into something much deeper . It seemed like he was scared. But I was dealing with so much pain to be bothered much about any of it. 

"Usaynah.." He began tentatively, but then I threw him a dirty look, and quickly, he recovered himself. "I'm sorry, Zakia.. I know what you are going through okay. But you don't have to blame yourself for anything, it's not your fault.." His voice trailed off. 

At this, I shifted my swollen eyes to meet his, and for the briefest of seconds, all I did was stare back at him, until I finally found the strength to speak. "So whose is it exactly? I, was the one who pulled the trigger at the two, I mean three of them! They saw me shoot them! And they died thinking I'm a murderer. I AM a murderer!" I spat angrily at him

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/zakia

. "So don't you dare tell me that you understand what I'm going through, cause you really don't!" 

"I do Zakia, and you know it too!" He strongly interjected. "I also had to watch my mother, and other relatives of mine die in front of me. And it was even frustrating because my father was the one who killed them, and I couldn't do anything to help them!"

"But that's my point Iman! In your case, you didn't kill any one of them, I did! I killed my own blood with my bare hands!" I yelled. 

Iman went silent for a while after this outburst of mine, and when he did eventually speak, his voice was low-pitched, and as soft as he could genuinely afford. "You had no idea they were your blood. You lost your memory Zakia.." He offered sympathetically. But even that was not enough to relief me of the pain I felt deep down. The pain was way greater than any physical pain I must've caused them when I pulled that trigger.. The pathetic memories wouldn't stop flashing back in my head, and it was worse when I closed my eyes.

But then out of nowhere, something struck my thought..

"Wait Iman," I began, trying so hard to contain myself. "I need you to tell me the absolute truth.. Did you all know they were my family..? Was that why the Amir (leader) insisted that I killed them?" 

But "No!" Came Iman's instant response. "Walahi! (I swear to God!) We all had no idea. And I'm not trying to defend my father here, but if he'd known, then I would've known too. It all most likely happened coincidentally.." He assured. 

And if only I believed him.. 

"Shoot her, or you die right now!" Those words echoed painfully  in my head. Those were the Amir's words to me that very day. And I'd stared at my pregnant aunt, unaware that she was my blood. I'd closed my eyes, and I killed her. 

"No!" I let out abruptly again. 

"Zakia.." Iman wanted to say, but I rudely cut him off. 

"You know what," I asked rhetorically. "I'm going to see your psychopath father, and I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.. after all, I have nothing else to loose.

Read " Instinct: The Sequel " by the same author ( Ishola Ubaydah )

. I really don't care if I die at this point, I'm done!" 

Angrily, I reached for the door, and I was about barging out, when Iman swiftly grabbed me by the arm.

"I'm not going to let you do anything crazy!" He hissed. "Zakia, I know you must've been wondering why you've been treated differently from the rest of those girls, and you know what, I'll tell you right now.. When we attacked your town, you fainted amidst everything. The Amir (leader) ordered for you to be brought here, and it was because he wanted to lock you up in there. But as God will have it, you woke up, and you couldn't remember a thing. And so, he took advantage of that and decided that you joined us instead.. Your amnesia saved you.." He explained. 

"So that's why you called me lucky? You called me lucky for that stupid reason?" I snorted. 

"It's not stupid," He said defensively. "Zakia, those girls in there would rather die too, just like me and you. But look at them, they are locked up in there, they are going through hell in there! Because trust me Zakia, so long as the Amir (leader) remains my father, I assure you that he won't kill you. If you dare to do anything crazy, he's going to lock you up in there too! Is that what you want?" 

Is that what I really wanted? I asked myself inwardly. 

Did I really want to be starved and locked in a makeshift prison? 

Did I really want to be raped for wanting my freedom back?

No, I really didn't want any of that. 

"Between you and I, you are Zakia," Iman continued. "But to the Amir (leader) and the rest of this army, you are Usaynah.."

"Please, for your sake, for Allaah's sake, let things remain the way they are.."