So We Got Married - Episode 19

 

It felt like I was carrying a ten-tone lorry on my back. I had just finished talking to Felicity over the phone and she had made me promise that I would stop by the hospital after work so that she could run a few tests. I drag my body to the shower. I had done away with Uri’s shampoo and brought myself a different flavored shampoo just to do away with anything that reminded me of him.

I rested my head on the bathroom wall and let the water hit my back. It had amazing effect on my body. 

The doctor had diagnosed Abigael’s cause of death as suffocation from Sudden Infant Death syndrome (SIDS) . When she had rolled over during her sleep she had experienced difficulty in breathing and that had caused her organs to shut down completely due to lack of oxygen in her system. By the time we had rushed her to the hospital she had been already dead. I totally blamed myself. Maybe if I had woken up an hour earlier I would have saved her life. I imagined her rolled over struggling to breath as her little organs suffered and shut down. I imagined it must have felt so painful when it happened. The guilt that followed drove me to the edge. There was no way anyone could have convinced me that I was not responsible. Guilt weighed down on me

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. It felt like I was a submarine submerged in water yet I couldn’t breathe.

If Uriel complained I pushed him away, he was not lying. I could not take care of myself let alone him and I wouldn’t let anyone do it for me. Uri was grieving too and I pushed him so far away. In those moments I had not been capable of showing him the love or even support we both needed. He was a grieving husband too and I had just been selfishly mourning in my own cocoon. I had been so harsh to him in many moments. 

Despite the fact that my daughter was dead her crib stayed in our room for months. I remember vividly when he tried to remove the crib so that I could get better in a healthy way. I had screamed blue murder at him and accused him of everything I could think of. Truth is I was horrible to him. I accept the part I played in driving us to this point. Everything we had built had gone downhill from the point of Abigael’s death.

When Will and Jenny had stumbled into my office for their first therapy session, their distance at that point had touched somewhere within my heart and immediately they left, I took the 2 weeks leave so that I could try to make things better, only to learn it was a little too late.

I finished bathing and returned into the bedroom. My mood was still low but I was determined to face the day. After going over my wardrobe for about five minutes I settled on a beige dress with black stilettoes. I was about to leave when my phone rang. It was Felicity. Poor thing, she was worried I was not going to honour my promise.

“Felicity am going to come for the check -up.” I reassured her immediately I received the phone.

“Fire in the mountain.” She said.

That was our code blue. It meant that something was wrong and I needed to be there at the hospital with her.

“Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Just come over, I will tell you once you are here.”

Deciding to wear flat shoes instead I left the house in a hurry. Something was wrong. I wondered if it had anything to do with her baby daddy.

Read " Made " by the same author ( DORSILA ANYANGO )

. He was one explosive guy who always thought the world rotated around him.

I reached the hospital and walked hurriedly towards the emergency entrance where she would normally be. I went to the nurse reception area. They knew me and immediately I entered she paged Felicity.

“You will have to wait for a bit because she is with a patient now, but be rest assured she will be with you in a few.”

“Thanks Rachel.”

Twenty minutes later Felicity came and took me into their resting area. She held an expression of worry and naturally I grew concerned.

“Is Jayden and Clara okay?”

“Jayden and Clara are fine.”

“Then what? Are you pregnant again?”

She gave me a withering look.

“What? It wouldn’t be the first time you slept with Luwi, again, after you promised you won’t.”

“I did have a melt-down then and you had to come over but that is not the point.”

“So what then?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“Just tell me already.”

“You may want to have a seat.”

“Just tell me.”

“Okay.”

I waited for a minute but Felicity said nothing.

“Of with it, come on…” 

“Well… Joyce.”

“What about her?”

“She is pregnant.”

“Good for her. How do you know?”

“I just tested her an hour ago.”

“Oh…good for her.”

“Ella you are doing it again.”

“Doing what again?” 

“You are in denial, I thought you were supposed to be the psychiatrist.”

“Denial of what.”

“Joyce is pregnant with Uri’s child.”

“No… no that can’t be right.”

“Tell me why he came in here with her.” She said shoving in my hand a sheet of paper in my hand.

Uriel’s name was clearly written on it with the word spouse added after his name.

“She is pregnant?” Felicity nodded.

“With his child?” She nodded again.

A distant ringing started inside my ear and as it grew everything in the room including Felicity’s voice grew dimmer. I felt dizzy, my feet gave way and everything went pitch black.

An hour later when I came to, I was in the ward connected to a drip. It all came rushing back to me and it hurt so bad. This Joyce chick must be trying to trap Uri into a marriage. Whichever way I tried to see it one thing was evident, Uri slept with her. To say it was heart wrenching would be an understatement with far many words.

Minutes after opening my eyes Felicity walked in and checked the drip.

“Your blood pressure is awfully high, I should have brought you in sooner.” 

 “Am sorry I passed out on you like that. It was a lot to take in at once.”

“I understand but that is not the reason you passed out.”

“It’s not?”

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

“You are pregnant.”

“I am?”

I made to sit up.

“For today you are going to stay in that bed then I will drive you home when am done with my shift.”

“How far gone?”

“6 weeks.”

She took my left hand and gave me an injection.

“You better get some rest now, will check on you later.”

She picked her clipboard and left as the sedative she injected me with took effect.