So We Got Married - Episode 26

 

Pain and suffering.

When someone is shot once in the head, his body goes limb under seconds due to shock his body experiences. Pain but no suffering. But when you get served with multiple stabs and the server goes to your worst enemy and make a treaty to last, its different. When that knife hits you, your body is conscious and it will be till you get to the end of it. Imagine a doctor operating on your heart without administering any pain killer.

He had been a huge part of my life . I could not imagine life without him. I had been doing so well but after meeting with Uri it felt like I had been flattened by a twenty-eight tone trailer.
 
I removed the covers from my body and gently rose from my bed. I went on to brush my teeth but I decided against talking a shower. I opened my bedroom curtains and stared vacantly at the flower beds. I heard my bedroom door opening but did not turn to see who was at the door. 

“Someone is here to see you.”

“I can’t see anyone like this Jimmy.”

“It’s too late and he was pretty convincing.”

The door opened again and I heard Jimmy telling whoever it was at the door to come in. My guess was Uri

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. I did not turn. I did not have the strength to.

As the scent of his cologne drew near I immediately guessed who it really was. 

“I brought back your car.”

I stayed silent.

“You won’t say thank you even after all that I did to ensure you and your car came home safe?”

I turned to face him. His deep blue eyes stared down to my soul. Instead of irritation, I felt safe.

“Forgive me, I know I haven’t been appreciative of anything. It hasn't been exactly easy the past few days…I know that’s not an excuse, am sorry.”

I made to move past him but he held me in place.

“What are you doing?” I asked staring hard at his white hands

Without a word he engulfed me with the biggest hug anyone had ever given me.

“Am sorry, you can slap me after I release you but you looked like you needed this.”

Later

I sat on the front pew watching the choir practice. My heart was still heavy. I listened to the choir practice song after song. They were really good at what they were doing. Sitting there listening at them was therapeutic not only to my soul but also my spirit. When the choir was done, one of the choir members took Grace aside and they seemed to be in a deep conversation. She was the one I wanted to talk to.

I remained on my seat hoping that their conversation wouldn’t talk long.

“Ella.”

I turned and to my side was the pastor. Someone I had been diligently avoiding.

“Pastor Thomas.”

“I have been meaning to talk to you.”

“Oh, maybe another time, right now I need to talk to Grace.”

I turned to point to the place I had last seen Grace but she was nowhere to be found. I turned back to my pastor. 

“Can we talk now?” He asked hiding a bemused smile. 

Reluctantly I nodded. I resumed my seat while Thomas sat beside me. The atmosphere around us stayed tight for some seconds.

“Ella, I am sorry about the scene you witness between Charity and Myself.”

“Pastor Thomas, you don’t have to apologise. Whatever happened between you two is between you two.”

“Ella you are like a daughter to me and with everything you are going through I feel I owe you an apology.”

“Pastor you don’t have to say it.”

“Regardless I am sorry.

I nodded in acceptance. I stared at the cross engraved on the church pulpit. I could not hold Pastor’s sin committed to charity against him. Charity had forgiven him and the Lord if he repented. Who was I to feel resentment?

But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mathew 6:15.

“Charity has forgiven you that’s enough for me. I must ask though, why did you do it?”

“I let myself be convinced by my folks that life was not worth it without having kids of my own, flesh and blood. I hurt the woman I loved badly and now though forgiven I am still haunted by the oath that I made to her on that beach. Heartbreaking someone is like murder.” 

He held a far-away gaze and I could not bring myself to imagine how it was for them both. Charity being without child and the other woman having two.

“Did you go to bible college when you were still with Charity?”

“No, we married young. I was twenty-one when I married charity. I went to bible college a year after we separated. That’s 11 years after our wedding.”

“I see.”

“I don’t know why God bought you to us at this particular time. There has to be a reason.” Pastor Thomas said in a convicted tone.

“I think I might know why.”

He gave me a questioning gaze.

“My husband and I are ending our marriage on Monday.

Read " Imagine Mountains " by the same author ( DORSILA ANYANGO )

. He has chosen to be with the woman at work now. She is three months pregnant. She was expectant when Uri asked for the divorce. Charity went through the same thing I went through.”

“Our circumstances are same.” Thomas said to which I nodded.

“Am sorry Ella, I honestly believed you two would get back together.”

“You and me both pastor.”

“You will get through this.”

“I have to.”

“Pastor.”

“Yes child.”

“Do you love your wife?”

“Yes I do.”

“How? If Charity was your first love, they say no love is like the first one?”

“I know what true love is.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Because now I can love better. God is love and my relationship with my wife, kids and even my flock is based on me trying to reflect the love of Jesus to others. My love for my wife is more of service than an illusion of how high a feeling can take me.”

“I met someone.”

“And you are afraid you might not feel the same way you felt when you met Uri.”

“Am scared, yes pastor.”

“Don’t be afraid child with God everything is possible. You are in His house now. You have suffered a broken marriage. That is His pulpit. You go there kneel and talk to Him. He is your Father and He will grant you whatever your heart desires if it is asked according to His will.”