Beautiful Mess - Episode 17

 

Suran
Shining

Kismet.

3 months later.

"What do you think of this color?"
I raise my head from the box I am sorting to glance at Mimi.

"Is that for the wall?"
I ask her and she nods.
We don't know the gender of the baby yet so we are decorating the room in neutral tones.

"I think that shade of teal is great, would look real okay"

She nods and goes back to what she is doing, I dip my hand into the box and I bring out some letters.

It's from Nigeria, Mimi got them from my old apartment, since I have been living in Ghana she has been a sweetheart.

I begin to sort through them and I find that they are mostly unimportant.
I get to the last one and my heart freezes.

It's from Garrett.
I open it and his familiar scrawl comes into view.

For the past 3 months I have been doing everything to forget about the father of my child.

I have frozen every emotion in me and  it has worked, from time to time I get depressed but I do everything available to make myself get out of the funk.

I have a baby to think about, I won't be a selfish mother, I wont hurt my self or my baby just because I got my heart broken.

But it hurts, it hurts so much.
I hear a sob and that's when I realize I actually was crying.

My hand goes to my face and it comes away with tears, my hand creeps to my chest were it hurts the most.

Why am I like this? Why can't I  just forget him?
What did he do to me?

I sob harder and Miranda turns when she hears.

"Kiki?"

She asks as a question and I sob harder clutching my chest.

It hurts, it hurts a lot.

I feel a hand around me and I turn to sob into Miranda's chest.

I pound on my chest, it feels like my heart is breaking.

"It hurts mi.

Read " Love Eternal " by the same author ( Bebe Ernest )

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All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/beautiful-mess

. mi"

"I know sweetie, I know"

"My he.  . . art hur. . . ts"
I sob harder as I pound on my chest, I think, I think I am going to die.

"Why do I miss him so much? Why? He left me, I asked for him, you went to him right? He told you he didn't want me"

I ask again for clarification and she nods.
After I got back from the hospital I couldn't take anymore of the pain so I asked for him, I told Mimi to get him but she reported that he said he wasn't interested.

I was at Mimi's house, he couldn't be bothered to come see me.

He abandoned me.

I waited but he left me.
I sob harder as my chest hurts harder.

Why is everything in shades of pain?

*****

A month later.

"What do you mean you don't know the father is ?!"

I rub at my head as my father dearest shouts at me.

He couldn't be bothered to come see me for close to 4 months now and when he finally does he Judges me.

Typical Papa.

"You are a disgrace, I can't believe I gave birth to you, this excuse of a daughter"

I don't flinch, am too used to the way he talks, even the child he is proud of is scared of him.

Poor Miranda.

"Your mother would be ashamed of you, having a child out of wedlock..."

That gets my attention, even though I am 7 months pregnant and most of the time I waddle like a duck.

I won't sit back and allow my father try to guilt trip me by using my mother.

"Papa, please don't, am having a bad day and am not in the mood to. . . . ."

When he slaps me I don't feel it, I just feel the injustice of it all.

Here I am, crying inside, dying of heartbreak, wanting a little comfort from my father and this is what I get.

As I think about it, I start to get angry.

" Do not ever raise your hand at me again father, if you do not want me staying in your house you need only to say so and I would leave.

After all this is my country, I am pregnant, you have to deal if you want to be a part of my baby's life, I am not below disowning you, father dearest "

I say the last two part slowly so it would sink in.

I don't know why my father hates me, sometimes he acts like he cares and other times like he hates the very thought of me.

He just moves away and I know I have won this round.

Kismet 1 - Papa 0

I rub at my stomach when I feel my baby kick.

I smile, that feeling alone is worth what I have been through.

****

2 months later

"Mimi!"

"Calm down Kis, it will be over soon"

I breath in through my nose and out my mouth.

Oh sweet Christi it hurts.
It hurts so much and I feel my chest clench like I have never felt before.

We've been at this for close to 12 hours now and I am so tired.

"The mother is going into shock"

I vaguely hear the nurse beside me say and I hear Mimi sob.

"Please Kismet, you have to try"
"Am so tired"
I hear myself saying.

"Please Kiki, you have to try harder"
She says, clutching my hand.

I shake my head slowly.
I just want to sleep.

"She is bleeding, heart beat is faltering"

The nurse repeats and I hear the doctor say.

"Just one more push Kismet, just one more, help me bring your child into the world"

I nod.
Just one, I can do that, just one.

I push with all my might and I hear the sweetest sound ever.
The cry of my baby.

"And we have a little lady"

The doctor says and I give a little laugh even as I feel my strength waning.

"Can I hold her?"
I say quietly.

"Please doctor, do something, my sister is dying"

I hear Mimi say but, I want to tell her am fine but I can't.

"Can I please hold my little Jasmin?"
I ask again, I feel the nurses running around me but I concentrate all my attention on Jasmin.

"Is that her name kis? Jasmin? It's a beautiful name, you have to stay alive so we can take care of her together"

I hear Mimi say as if from a far place, I can hear the tears in her voice but I can't say anything.

I feel a tremor wrack through me and I cry out weakly.

I turn to Mimi even as I see the nurse take my daughter away to.

"You will take care of her won't you?"

I ask and she nods, crying.

Even as I drift away I think that this is the first time I have seen Miranda cry.

AN.

Good morning.

So today I am on baby sitting duty.
I love kids, I swear I really do but they can be exhausting.

Any tips on how to make them sleep?

Thank you!

Don't forget to like rate and comment.

Much love.