An Arranged Marriage - Episode 38

See all episodes here »

“We have to end this you know that right? I ask Kane a week later, our body curled together, rain pattering softly on the window.

The room is dimly lit and warm and I have my head on his chest as he twirls my hair around his finger. 

“Is it bad that I don't want to?” 

“I think two weeks is more than enough honeymoon now don't you think? “

“A year with you would be like a second” my breath hitches at the beauty of his words. 

“I have to do something you know? Find a job? Something?” I say. 

He's been extra protective these days, not allowing me to step out of the room or pick calls or even speak to my sisters, he took the distracting my mind quite seriously. 

He stills as my words sinks in and he seats up, pulling me with him, I end up with my back against the headboard and his torso turned to me. 

“Anadia, you know you don't have to work right?” He asks, I nod, knowing this. 

He's promised to take care of me but I'm not built like that, I've been built to take care, to protect, to provide. 

“I promised to take care of you and your sisters.. “ He begins. 

 

“I know that, but that doesn't mean I won't work.

All episodes of this story can be found here >> https://www.ebonystory.com/story/an-arranged-marriage

. I still have to..” 

“You are scared” He states. 

“What?” I whisper. 

“You don't believe in this yet.” He says and there's a crushing tension slowly building in the room. 

“You are thinking that you are going to get out of this, You are thinking thoughts” He says, how did he guess so correctly?

And he's right, I am a realist, what if he wakes up one day and suddenly decides that he has his company and he's done with me? 

I still have to go back to living my life and providing for my sisters. 

I say all this to him and his eyes dulls. 

Oh, Sh*t. 

“It's disappointing Anadia, that you would think like that”

I almost cried as I feel him start to withdraw, not once has he withdrawn, angry, maybe, but not withdraw. 

I try to make him understand. 

“You have to see reason Kane, put yourself in my shoes, what will happen.. I have to think” 

I say. 

And he nods, I get he's nodding reflexively and not because he agrees with me. 

“What part of my behaviour to you gave it away that I would ever leave you? Even leave you high and dry at that?” 

None, no part of his behavior but he can't blame me. 

It feels like I've been living a fairytale. 

“Kane…” 

“If.. Suddenly one day you decide to leave me, I won't let you go empty handed, you've come to mean more than that to me” He says, softly, vulnerably whilst extracting himself from me, as if he has to regroup, build his walls. 

I immediately miss his warmth, his touch, I extend a hand but he's gone, sliding away from me, sitting at the edge of the bed, I pull the sheet closer. 

I'm loosing control of this situation, faster than I thought. 

How did we get here? 

All I wanted was for him to understand that I trust him but I've got have a security blanket, its a thing I have to have, everybody I know leaves in the end. 

He's done a lot, he's done so much but.. But.. 

Oh God. 

“You have to learn to trust me Ani” He says. 

“How can I? When you've given me nothing about yourself” I say, suddenly realising that it's true. 

We might burn brightly than the sun, we might be good together in bed and out of it but I know nothing about him, I know nothing about his family, what makes him tick, what makes him happy, his favourite food, he won't even let me touch him when we make love. 

“What?” He whispers. 

It's then I realize I said all of that out. 

“You don't let me touch you” I say, my voice small, pitiable. 

I hate it. 

“Babe, we touch, we fuck, we make love, our bodies connect” He says, his eyes blazing. 

“Yes, we've done things but in these two weeks, not once, not once have I got to explore you, I've tried,I've tried to touch you there but you hold me back, I appreciate the fact that you want to give me pleasure, I enjoy it, it's wonderful but I want to give it to you too, you holding me back feels like you don't trust me, it feels like I'm not worth your attention, it feels like… “I stop, swallowing. 

 

“It feels like you can't give me your trust” He says guessing correctly. 

I stand, quickly pulling on my panties and nightgown from where he tossed them a while ago.

“What do I have to do to prove to you?” He asks suddenly, my back going straight as I turn, the rain whips at the window and I feel like the storm is only just starting. 

 

“What?” 

“I feel like I will go mad with my desire for you Anadia, I want you to trust me, to believe in you, God knows I've failed you, so many times, what do I have to do?” 

He's failed me? 

What does he mean? 

“Failed me?” I question, my brow furrowed. 

“How do I prove myself? ” He asks. 

His question sweeps my mind away from his cryptic words but I don't know how.. 

“I.. I don't know” I say and he nods, getting up from the bed, tugging on his briefs and I looks away to steady the desire in me. 

“You can have the room for tonight “He says, turning. 

“What?” I question. “I don't want you to go, let's talk about this” I say. 

“What? Talk about the fact that you are throwing my money at my face? Throwing my trust back at me? Throwing the fact that I've given myself to you back at me? “

“I've given myself to you too Kane” 

“It doesn't look like it Ani” He says. 

And that hurts. 

“Don't leave” I say. 

I don't want him to leave. 

He has to give me time to think about this and come to terms with it. 

“Anadia” 

“Please” I say, my voice breaking. 

“You have to understand that I need time to think about this, accept you wholly” 

“You haven't accepted me? You let me into your body, you let me.. You let me..” 

“Kane!” I cry as he turns away from me and disappears from the room. 

Oh my God. 

Oh my God. 

Oh my God. 

I follow him, Cursing my leg for being slow. 

He's standing by the stairs, I catch up and wrap my hands around his waist. 

“Kane” I say into his back. 

“I'm sorry I walked away, it's not right that I hear you saying you've not given you to me Ani”. 

“I'm sorry” 

“You own me” He says and I freeze. 

“You own me wholly, you own my soul, you own my money, you own me, you own me, you own me, you own me” He repeats like a mantra and even if he doesn't give me the words I know what he's saying. 

“You own me too Kane, let talk about this” I say. 

He let's me lead him back to bed and we get in, as I snuggle closer to him I can't help but think that he's not holding me close, his hands are not in my hair and he seems not to be in the same room with me. 

 

AN

Thank you for reading 

Sorry about the hiatus yesterday. 

I was cold and a wee bit sick,i could string words, it was one of those days. 

But I'm fine now, dandy.

Please leave comments. 

I promise to reply all of them. 

Thank you! 

. .

Read " Salvation (An Arranged Marriage ll) " by the same author ( Bebe Ernest )