Drifting away.

As I write this to you. I'd be gone soon. The doctors said I have a few days left. They said the accident affected my brain. I'd soon lost control of all motor functions. It's with my last strength that I write this. 

I want to thank you for loving me. Throughout all those years you've stuck with me. You know I wasn't always like this . I'm sorry for putting you through all these stress. Even when family abandoned me, you stayed with me. I'd be forever grateful. In an age where good ladies are lacking, in my life time I've never seen someone as accommodating as you are.

On the day of the accident,  we had an issue, clearly I was the cause of everything. If I hadn't stormed out of your house late that night, I'd save everyone the stress. Your world literally came crashing when you came to the hospital.  I was in pains seeing you cry, when the doctor said I had a slim chance of living I felt your pain, I could see hurt in your eyes. 

You had built your world around me. I'm sorry for leaving, for disappointing you, for failing you. These 2years, your love hasn't diminished. When I lost hope you were there. Constantly you reassured me that I'd walk, that I'd live, that I'd be the father to your children. I'm sorry. If I had the power to stick around, I'd surely do that. You see, sometimes we have no control over what happens in life. 

I might not have lived a full life. A life of old age and memories, a life I would be able to see our grandkids run around our home. I might not have done everything with you that we dreamt of. I might not have stuck around to have a family with you, to watch you as our kids grew in your belle. 

No one would wish to have his life cut at his prime. I had everything working out for me. A good job, a loving fiancee, a family that stuck by till the accident happened. I wouldn't regret my life. I would only regret those things I didn't do with you. 

In my next life I would love one else. In my next life I would spend every moment with you. I'd never leave your side just as I'd soon do in this life. 

I have one last request that I'd like you to carry out. I know I'm not in any position to make demands, I've stopped you from having a life for the past 2years. Still I'll make this demand. When I die I want you to hold my hand. I want to feel your hand as I walk through the corridors of after life. I want you to be with me till you can go to further. Till the powers that be take me away from you. Till you feel my hand getting cold. 

After I pass away, I want you to love another like you loved me. Move on, go and have that life that I denied you when you took care of me in this hospital that I've been my home for close to 25months. 
I know it would be difficult to love another. I demand that of you. You can't love a dead man. Love a living one. 

It's with tears I write this. I feel my hand shaking, I feel death lying on this bed. 

Don't cry when I die. I want you to be happy that you'll be free. Go on and live your life. 

I would always love you. Even on the other side, I'd always watch over you. 
Till we see again. I love you. 

© #fearless

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