Austere

         My best hobby is wooing ladies, I have never found so difficult to talk to ladies or confess about my love to them. All I do is just snap my fingers and believe me, all the girls will start rushing towards me like ants been attracted by sugar. The most interesting part is that ladies are been attracted by four qualities in a guy and these qualities are handsomeness, intelligence, Wealth and talent and luckily I have all these qualities; I am handsome, very  intelligent and in fact the most brilliant guy in my class, my dad being a manager in a big company and my mum being a nurse in a famous hospital in Nigeria made me one of the richest kid and I have an impressive skills like; dancing, singing and one of the best football striker.

   I had never felt been looked down upon or felt low self-esteem until I met Linda, she was another dimension of the definition of a lady. She is exceptionally different from some of the girls I had come across.
    It was a Sunday morning, Linda jogged across our yards in a white short and blue vest and she did her hair in a ponytail . That was my first time seeing her in the environment so I guessed her parents just moved in to the estate and trust me she was naturally endowed with b*obs and b*tts as that of Kim kardashian and flexible hips like that of Shakira. She has a deep dimple that can melt a heart like a candle whenever she smiles. She has clean, white set of teeth as if washed with Jik, she was tall like the former most beautiful girl in Nigeria agbani Darego and had the duplicate of Yvonne long, straight legs. In summary, she was a beauty to behold and endless description of her beauty and her personalities can never be compared to seeing her in person. That day, I gathered all my methods and skills of wooing a lady and decided to approach her. I walked towards her with confidence, my hands in my pocket with my head tilted high, I bounced like a ball and I adjusted the tip of my face cap which complimented my black top, blue jean as well as my accentuated height which was one of the sources of my cuteness.

  "Hey! Pretty...how are you?." I greeted and smiled like I normally do with other ladies. Linda looked up from the phone she was pressing, stared at me from head to toe and hissed.
     "Hello..I'm greeting you pretty." I continued, not ready to give up easily.
      " How may I help you? What do you want? Who are you? What can I do for you?." She asked with a scorn. I looked at her with awe and wondered which question to answer first. I picked up another wooing method which I call "magic wand." 
    " Baby, I'm not here to hurt you but rather to spoil you with money, my parents are rich, I'm gifted with singing and dancing, my status is......"
    "Shut up you fool, you are too arrogant. Who do you think I am? An extravagant spoilt brat? A gold digger? For your information, My name is Linda Benson black and I know you very well,  you are Daniel Williams. Your mum works in my mum's hospital *Benson Medical center* and my dad owns the company your dad works in, *Benson black oil and gas company*. The car your father drives is the type of the car I drive now. I'm pretty, gifted with singing, dancing and writing . I have won lots of awards for my talents, I have published many books and to crown it all, I'm a first class student from the prestigious Lagos state university and I'm presently going for my P.H.D in London at age 24. So tell me , what else can you use to woo me apart from all those qualities you mentioned?." Linda smiled at the confused expression on my face. I was sweating profusely, my tongue were tied up and I felt like the ground should open and swallow me. She said it all, her own family is the source of our income and survival.
    "It's an assignment dear. Go and make a research on how else you can woo me." She strode proudly with her dog towards a Porsche  and boom! It was her car. I can only describe her attitude in one word *Austere*.